"Art becomes science...

"... that's what progress is.  Innovation moves away and leaves only execution.  Stay ahead of the curve."


We talked about this in our India prep class.  It's a cool concept and so relatable to both my school and work life.  Bear with me here, I think you'll catch on quickly.  


I've realized this semester how all of my classes are somehow connected with one another, and really, to this bigger concept of business on a global scale.  The quote above was by my India professor, Mani, and refers to the contrast between art and science.  He argued (and I agree) that everything starts out as an art.  Innvoation and creativity start the next big idea.  As we learn more about it, we get the science behind it, document the steps, and institutionalize the knowledge.  


This happened in farming - the art of getting the perfect crop  We measured how much sunlight, water, and the right type of soil to turn innovation in farming into common practice.  It happened in wood shops, when wood workers would hand craft their goods.  It happened when the best and the brightest tackled things like architecture, physics, and computer programming.  Where will it happen next?


The art and the science.  


This is what I also focus on at work.  The art is less trainable.  How do I focus on training the art and the science of project management?  The steps are easy to articulate.  How does one teach the unpredictable side?  As we've progressed, industries like handicrafts, farming, and manufacturing - with their scientific steps and process - have moved to lesser developed countries to leave the art of consulting, education, and many other jobs in the service sector here.  


Why is any of this relevant?  As I plan for my trip to India, I'll be going somewhere that has capitalized on crazy-huge demand for perfecting the science.  India has executed with such high quality that has never before been reached.  The mass scale in which these companies I will visit have streamlined their unique process, turned profits based on the detailed steps of running a call center, programming computers, consulting on systems infrastructure, or other repetitive tasks is impressive.  What's next for India?  How do we stay ahead of an emerging market that will also someday realize that to stay ahead of the curve, there is a need to incorporate art, freedom of thought, creativity and innovation into their industries?  


Again, I'll say it.  "Art becomes science... that's what progress is.  Innovation moves away and leaves only execution.  Stay ahead of the curve."  


Make sense now?

Thankful

I think this year I realized that Thanksgiving is my second favorite holiday.  Or maybe third favorite, but it's actually much higher than I ever give it credit for.  I just LOVE the family time, the low key-ness, the fantastic meal, the games, the coziness, and the start to a lazy four-day weekend.  Even more, I've been reflecting on how thankful I am.  Lots has happened in the surroundings of the Wires family in the past 2 months, including:

• Grandpa Orlo having lung/heart problems and moving to a nursing home permanently
• Grandpa Bill having a heart attack and stroke and moving to a rehab center/nursing home permanently
• Dad falling and cracking his ribs Sunday before Thanksgiving!
• Natalie's boyfriend's dad died yesterday of a sudden heart attack, completely unexpectedly

These things, among others, give us perspective.  The first two are sad, but the grandparents have had amazing lives.  It takes a lot of work for my parents (of which I am thankful) to get them transitioned into their new homes.  They are both in their 80s, have experienced life, love, and families of their own.  They got to witness their grandkids grow into adults.  Then when my dad fell, which normally would have been HUGE, I thought, "Okay, let's just take it easy, this isn't a show stopper."  Then when Natalie had to support her boyfriend's family yesterday, I felt that the Wires family is quite lucky.  Quite thankful, indeed.  In fact, these are some things I am especially thankful for this year:

• Getting through another semester of grad school, and while crazed, enjoying most of it. 1 year left!!!
• Finding peace in my career.  This was a 2010 goal, and I SO have!
• My new little Matthies Family feeling more like a family with the three of us (Callaway included!)
• Jake's blessing in disguise - leaving KinderCare and starting at Crave, and back in school - the next chapter in his life
• My In-Laws, who are fantastic people, individually and as a collective unit. Seriously.
• Build-Your-Own Golf League on Thursdays, with Matt, Trace and Colleen
• Watching Grey's on Thursdays while cooking with Crystal and Signe
• That we are fortunate enough to travel the country and attend 11 weddings in 6 months
• The New 90210
• My first SmartPhone - the Google MyTouch Slide
• Hanging out with my sister, having breakfast, shopping for Halloween costumes, walking the lakes or bike riding
• Sunday night phone calls with my mom (or whatever day of the week they end up being)
• My upcoming monthlong trip to India
• Girls' fondue nights and our upcoming book club (yes, I am excited for this.)
• The impromptuly-fun brunch at Signe's this past Saturday
• Bananagrams!
• The fact that I have found a new creative outlet for writing in this blog, and for all of you who read it!

Enjoy your holiday season - I know I will!

Allison

Life Lessons from Callie's Perspective

 

Hi everyone, it's me, Callie.  I am 1 year old today!  I have learned so much in my first year of life and I thought I would share some of my life lessons with you.  Maybe they'll fit your situation, too.

1. Loyalty is the best policy.  It shouldn't matter what your family does, or what they don't or can't do - you must be there for each other through everything.  That's the point of family.
2. Superficial things don't really matter.  When Jake and Allison wake up in the morning, I give them kisses and show them how excited I am to see them.  This is before any teeth brushing, fancy clothes, or make up.  I love them when they're in sweatpants (especially when I tug at the sweatpants!)
3. That brings me to my next point - when you love people, show them all the time!  Jake and Allison always know how much I love them.  It's never a question.
4. Make time to play.  This is my favorite!  I love undivided attention from Jake or Allison, and sometimes I have to remind them to put down computers, TV remotes, and books so we can focus on the importance of playing together, being silly, and running circles in the house.  
5. Always come home.  I like my sense of adventure, and sometimes I wander and travel and get into danger, but I also have a sense for coming home and knowing it's the best place in the world. (Sometimes I realize it only after they corner me and I have no choice!)
6. People who are sad sometimes just need someone to listen.  They don't always need advice, or need your own similar story told.  When Jake or Allison is sad, I just let them talk it out.  I am also very good at licking all the tears off Allison's face!  I can sense sadness and know what my role should be every time.
7. Life is short.  Cherish every moment together.  Get excited about the little things, so excited you can hardly stand it.  I do!!!

 Love, Callie   

I believe...

There's a section in every Glamour where a notable woman writes 5 things she believes.  They can be anything, big or small, substantial or trivial.  Some women write about politics; others write about lipstick.  I've always wanted to write "my 5", and here they are:


I believe...

• In investing in expensive bedding. You spend a third of your life there, right? (or in my case closer to half)
• That differences in people DO matter... in a really good way.
• That more than half of good ideas are born while washing your hair or trying to fall asleep at night.
• That you should practice a presentation out loud before giving it (in front of the mirror, to your husband, in your car, etc.)
• That when you love people, you should TELL THEM.

What are YOUR 5?

Figure out what you REALLY want to do...

Some people ask why I'm getting an MBA.  For me, it's fairly simple. I. like. school.  I do!  I have always been an academic.  An old friend used to call me "the perfect student."  I strive for good grades, I edit and re-edit my papers, I feel a sigh of relief (and sense of accomplishment) after a presentation or a test.  So why business school?


Well, I've always liked business.  I first realized it back in high school when my Economics teacher, Mr. Puhrmann, taught us the difference between Macroeconomics and Microeconomics by instructing us to sit at our desks, then to STAND ON our desks.  Then to see the difference, we sat down again.  (You guess which is which).


We're all surrounded by them - people who are dragged down by chores, tasks, errands, and other "must-do's".  We get eyerolls at the grocery store, or snappy responses at the dry cleaner.  Sometimes I can be that snappy person - yes, I know!  But then there are people like Mr. Puhrmann, or my college Econ professor, Henry Hays, or our EVP of Property Development at Target.  His name is John Griffith, and he spoke to our department this summer.  He ended his speech with an inspiring moment (which I wasn't really expecting at the time).  The key to happiness - the key to life: FIGURE OUT what it is you really want to do.  This is the hard part.  Figure it out.  Then...


DO IT!


Maybe Nike was right all along.


(This is some great food for thought, and part of the reason I'm getting my MBA - it's helping me in my quest to figure out what I REALLY want to do.  The other part is that truly, I just like being a student.) :)

Temporary Home

                                 "This is my temporary home, 

                                 It's not where I belong

                                 Windows and rooms, 

                                 That I'm passing through

                                 This is just a stop 

                                 On the way to where I'm going 

                                 I'm not afraid because I know 

                                 This is my temporary home."

-Carrie Underwood  

My grandpa had a heart attack last week, followed by a stroke 2 days later.  The heart attack was not bad, but the stroke was pretty massive.  I spent time with him after the heart attack, and he was normal Grandpa.  After the stroke, he was no longer normal Grandpa.  "Normal" per se.  I know he's still in there, working on some of the things we first notice like talking, moving his limbs, smiling.  It's been a bit of a shock but I do feel comforted by a couple things: 

1. Grandpa has lived a good life. He has had many friends, experienced many things, and as I quote The Notebook, he has "loved another with all [his] heart and soul, and that has always been enough." Yes, he loved my grandma in a way that I strive to love Jake for years to come. 
2. The superficial things don't matter.  No, he will probably not return to his home.  He will likely need to move to assisted living of some sort, and will not be able to do many of the daily activities we take for granted.  But he still has heart, and he still loves, and he will until his last breath.
3. I do believe in Heaven, and I do think he will be reunited with my grandma when it's time.  And this will put everything at ease.  He has been sad ever since she died 8 years ago.  Over the past 8 years, she has been his main focus.  His thoughts have always pointed to her.  

It's going to be hard, but we have had some amazing times and I'm so lucky in that respect.  After college, when I lived in Uptown, he picked me up many mornings and drove me downtown for work.  These short morning conversations will always be close to me, as will the way he friended my roommates and Jake.  In this picture he came over for roommate dinner with Becky, Kristi and me.  We had ridiculously spicy chicken tortilla soup, and he spent a lot of time playing with Kristi's dog, Burnsie.  Years before, he let my friend Tai live with him for 6 months while she was student teaching.  She and her now husband started their "mini-dates" at his house!  

It's so great to have memories like this.  And these memories - of a good life lived - are what keep us strong when something limiting happens to a dear loved one.  

And so the next journey begins...

Tonight I was able to meet my group of co-travelers on this year's upcoming study abroad trip to India!  India - this is UNREAL.  I am super pumped about the trip, which is just over 2 short months away.  I am excited for a few reasons:

• I've never been to Asia, and this will be a great way to immerse myself in a new continent
• Traveling for school grants access to many things tourists do not get - such as factory visits, meeting CEO's of companies, government visits, etc.  Plus I get to share a room with a complete stranger for 2 weeks - always a unique experience!
• Really, this will be my first time in this level of third world.  Yes, India is an emerging market.  Yes, there are parts that are quite prosperous.  And yes, I've seen poverty in Peru, Chile, Argentina.  But South America and India are quite different and this will be a new level for me.
• The professor - Mani - is wonderful.  He is Indian and I was able to take a class from him last spring.  I have heard he truly makes the trip worth it!

We spend the first week of January in Delhi (I will be flying over the ball dropping in every time zone from Europe to North America).  Then we will fly to Bangalore for the second week.  I've heard the two are like completely different countries in climate, culture, industry, etc.  I can't wait to see the difference.

Even further, we have a Target office in Bangalore.  I have gotten to know various individuals in the Bangalore office during the last 6 months in my new job, and these people are truly wonderful.  We get to visit Target Bangalore for the school program, and I can't wait to see it in person!

More to come on India, but for now, I just wanted to say that I can't wait for this experience.  Traveling in this capacity has always been amazing to me - from Europe to South America, and now to Asia.  I truly am lucky and extremely grateful for all I am able to do in this lifetime.

My All Time Favorite Songs in the WORLD

Someone recently asked me what has been my favorite song throughout my life.  I honestly don't have one, but I do have a list.  I've been noticing in my head it's a very distinct list:


-Hey Jealousy, Gin Blossoms
-Walkin in Memphis, Marc Cohn
-These Are Days, 10,000 Maniacs
-Mr. Jones, Counting Crows
-All For You, Sister Hazel
-Wicked Game, Chris Isaak


I think that's it!  What's on your list?

Straddling the Threshold

As many of you know, this has been the year of weddings for Jake and me.  In total, I will have attended 11 weddings in 2010.  And that's between the months of May and October!  Yes, that averages out to almost 2 per month.  And with almost half of these weddings being out of town, we've gotten our fair share of flights and hotel rooms this year.  We've visited Portland OR, Kansas City MO, Sonoma CA, Spicer MN, New Richmond WI, and will still go to Northfield at the end of October.  Here are some pics of our journeys and our friends:

So what is it that these weddings all have in common?  They have that moment.  That moment when the officiant says "I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. husband and wife." (or in Sonoma, Mr. and Mr.)  You are now married.  You have it all ahead of you.  A clean slate, a marriage built on trust, love, companionship, passion... now it's YOURS to build.

There's the old tradition of the man carrying the wife over the threshold of their new house after they get married.  The threshold is really that stepping stone, and it can go in one of two directions.  I've seen both.  The couple that sees their life together as brilliant - an opportunity, or the couple that sees a huge burden on other other side.  We've all heard it:  "last night of freedom", "ball and chain", "tied down", "have to check with the wife".  Think about the perspective YOU want to bring to your marriage.  Will you be better together?  Will you still be able to maintain some of yourself as an individual - some uniqueness and independence? (I hope so.)  What does the threshold signify in your life?  How - if you are getting married soon - can you make it something worth doing - NOT the extravagant wedding part, but the lasting marriage part?  Why even get married if it's just the next step in the process, what you're supposed to do?

Lucky for me, the weddings I attended this summer were all absolutely joyous occasions.  Most weddings are.  But I also hope that throughout the stickiest times of the next 60+ years, these people remember their wedding day and what they vowed to one another.  To be there for one another, to trust, to be loyal.  To always find love.  

Jake and I also celebrated our 1 year anniversary this summer.  Some people say the first year is the hardest.  I think we had a blissful year!  The hard times for us are when we have no time - with both of us juggling classes and work, this fall is more difficult.  But I never once have questioned my love for him.  I think the first year is hard if you take the wrong path over the threshold, but if you remember why you did it, what you wanted in the first place, it's going to be a lot easier than you think.

The Inferiority Complex

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt


I recently heard this, and it struck a chord in me.  I also wrote about it in my blog at work, so if you read that, this may be somewhat similar.  I wanted to blog about it at home too.  I spent three days last week in a class called TrainerTalk.  TrainerTalk is supposed to change your mindset about training/presentations, transforming your attitude, techniques and outcomes!  I will say it was inspiring.


This is material that Target has licensed from an external company - Bergerac - and it's supposed to be impactful.  Every time I mentioned I was going to Bergerac, someone would say "Oooooh, have FUN."  Like I was supposed to know what that meant.


It was a fantastic training, and I learned so much during these three days.  I can't even remember it all!  I learned about presenting yourself in an open position, with your arms out at your sides.  Almost like hugging your audience - instead of how we often present with our hands clasped in a fist in front of us.  The fist is a mechanism we use to make ourselves feel smaller, less important, inferior.


I was taped numerous times over the course of the three days, andhad to tell myself, "Allison, just go with it."  We also talked about that awful person who sits perched on our shoulder during challenges - the Inner Critic.  The Inner Critic creates so much unnecessary worry, shame, confusion during a presentation.  We think we look stupid.  We think we are inferior.  We think we can't do it.


Eleanor Roosevelt's quote reminds me of a lot of things I learned at TrainerTalk.  First and foremost, it's up to each of us to silence our own Inner Critic.  We each have a lot to offer.  I realize that when I'm training, sometimes I don't think what I have to say is important.  But it is, or I wouldn't be doing it!  Take the time, open your arms, take a deep breath, face your audience.  YOU can do it.

Weekend Update

Yep, it has been a fantastic weekend.  I didn't have anything planned when it started, but happened to not only have a ton of fun but also accomplished a LOT!  Friday night Jake and I went grocery shopping and got the staples & the ingredients I needed for my recipes.  Saturday I cooked most of the day.  I tried homemade bread (it didn't go GREAT; it didn't rise enough, but here is the link to the recipe I used).  I did make a mean lasagna which was VERY much worth the effort.  And I made Aunt Jane's Strawberry Salad, one of my all time favorites.


Sunday was spent walking around Lake Calhoun with Crystal, and then kayaking with Trace.  Callie even got to join in on the fun. (pics courtesy of Trace)

When I got home, I made another fabulous new recipe: Black Bean Soup  And ended the night with a margarita at Ciento and a couple cocktails at Colleen's house.  Today I'm wrapping some presents and relaxing on the couch.  And reflecting on what made the weekend so great.  These are some things I realized:

1. I sort of like going to bed at a reasonable hour on weekends.  It makes the next morning more bearable.
2. I moderately like getting up before 10am on weekends!  Sunday and Monday I was up around 9am.  It felt productive and by Noon if I needed a break, I didn't feel as guilty about relaxing.
3. I really like our house.  I don't think I spend enough time here, organizing it, cleaning it, decorating it.  I didn't make major changes this weekend, but I did relish in the love I have for my house.
4. I love cooking new recipes!  Even if they don't turn out as planned (read: flaming bread from the broiler).
5. Great plans will happen if you let them.  Don't overplan, it only stresses everyone out. 

Off to do some more FUN things!  Happy Labor Day!


PS Yes, Trace, you were right.

The Art of Under-planning

I realized today another (yes, another) reason I so loved my college years.  I was laying in bed, thinking to myself how great this upcoming weekend is going to be.  Not just because it's a 3 day weekend, but also because we changed our plans last minute and decided to stay home from the cabin.  Jake has to work his new job at Crave, and instead of risking cold nights in a tent, pressed against my 4 pound dog for warmth, I decided it would be a good weekend to stay home with NO plans.  


That's not to say I won't be busy and productive.  I won't just sit around.  But instead of running from one thing to another, trying to keep a smile on my face and paying close attention to driving times and the clock, I'm going to just do what I want to do.  See what comes next!  Imagine that concept.  Tonight I went grocery shopping for 3 meals - new recipes I've wanted to try.  I never find time to cook new things!  I mean tomorrow, I'm actually making homemade bread - yeast and all!


I was even able to contact my friend Britt today to see if she, Jason, and their daughter Siena wanted to come over for dinner tomorrow night.  Luckily, they are also free!  Instead of planning weeks and months in advance, I got excited to see them and we get to spend time together tomorrow.


I think this is going to be a new thing for me - and something I will strive to do.  Make more time for no plans.  Weird concept, I know.  Again, this was something I used to be able to do in college.  We never made plans - we always just let the weekend take us from one thing to another.  It was bliss.  And I have a feeling this weekend will be bliss, too. :)

Ozarks Part III

So a month and a half after our trip to Arkansas, I am going to write the final blog.  Mostly it's going to be the final journal entries from our trip, but I do want to comment on a couple things I've thought about during and since the trip.

1. One of my favorite parts of vacation is the series of inside jokes that are created and carried throughout the length of the vacation.  This journal entry lists out these silly memories, which in a year won't mean anything to us.  But there's something magical about vacation inside jokes that seem so fabulous at the time.  They, in a lot of ways, make the vacation memorable.  I look forward to future vacations where this happens, specifically Becky's bachelorette party in Vegas and Crystal and Matt's wedding in Mexico.  It's even more fun with a group of friends.
2. In Arkansas, I was able to chill out, relax.  I did a lot of relaxing.  I find myself lately feeling bored or antsy at home at night when I don't have much going on.  I think about all the things I should be doing or could be doing.  This is part of the reason I so desperately want to get to the cabin over Labor Day weekend!  But in reality, I should be able to relax at home the way I did in Arkansas, the way I do at the cabin. I should be able to put away my electronics, turn off the TV, and find things to do.  I am going to make it a goal to find peace in my own house.  My friend Crystal had a recent goal related to cooking new recipes - I think mine just needs to be finding new hobbies around my house that create that same sense of peace that I find on vacation.

Okay, enjoy these!  Then, onto the next subject.  What's it going to be?

On This Day...

"On this day, I marry my friend -
- the one that I laugh with, live for, dream with, and love."

THIS was a special day. 08.15.09.  Somehow through all the stress, the people, the agendas and task lists, we were able to find calm.  Truly a calm before the storm.

Because it sure stormed that night!  But MAN was it fun.  It was truly the perfect day to kick off our lifetime of happiness.  Happy 1-year anniversary, Jacob!  I love you.

Ozarks Trip: Part II

This is the second of the three part blog entry highlight our trip to the Ozarks.  Here you get to find out more about Eureka Springs, golf in Arkansas and contour line drawings.  That last one was inspired by our upcoming game of Pictionary, where sometimes the rule called for the drawer to refrain from picking up the pencil during the entire drawing.  Trace thought about a form of drawing called contour line drawing and did one of me - where it's not super exact, but the artist looks at the subject and does not pick up the paper.  So that squiggly drawing is me. :)  These are the fun conversations and things that happen more likely on vacation with friends than during the daily grind.  Ah, how I love an escape from the daily grind!

Ozarks Trip - Part I

4th of July is always my favorite holiday.  It is seriously so much fun to celebrate mid-summer.  It's always beautiful, relaxed, with few expectations.  I think this year we had more expectations than usual because we were taking a weeklong road trip to the Ozark Mountains, staying in a house we rented on Bull Shoals Lake.  We traveled with four friends - Trace & Ryan, Mike & Ali.  Trace is from Arkansas so he wanted to visit home, and the rest of us wanted to check out a part of the country we hadn't seen before.

We got to our cabin after a good 20 minutes on winding dirt roads in the middle of nowhere, and it was beautiful.  Our cabin was named Lakeside Hermitage.  It was quaint and wooden and cute.  I absolutely loved it.

So the first day we got there - after 12 hours of overnight driving - they found a leather journal for guests to write in.  I was immediately told that I was assigned to the task of writing in the journal on behalf of our group.  I'm pretty sure my friends meant that I should write an entry before we left.  Of course I took job seriously and took it to the extreme.  I wrote 6 pages on various days throughout the week!  Trace had the idea of taking pictures of the pages so I could share them in my blog.  So I'm going to share them with you - with commentary - over the next three entries.

(The first part of this page was Jake's one entry.  I know it doesn't make much sense - just remember that when traveling with a group of friends, there tend to be a LOT of inside jokes).

I do think that through reading these, you'll get a sense for our week and what went on, and how we were feeling throughout the week (or at least how I was feeling!)  Enjoy!

PS - If you can't read it, click on the image and it will enlarge on your screen.

That Feeling

I'm reading A Million Little Pieces right now and am completely enthralled in it.  Sometimes it takes me awhile to get into a book, but once I do, I can't put it down! (Same goes for a TV show, movie, song... it just takes time).  Oh and in case you're wondering, yes - James Frey deceived people about his "memoir", so it's not all true, but I really don't mind. It's well written and a really good story. 


There is a page I'm reading now where the author has let himself feel things he hasn't for a long time.  And I quote: "Something else comes and it makes me feel weak and scared and fragile and I don't want to be hurt and this feeling is the feeling I have when I know I can be hurt and hurt deeper and more terribly than anything physical and I always fight it and control it and stop it but her voice calms me and her arms warm me and her smell lightens me and I can feel her heart beat and if she let me go right now I would fall and the need and confusion and fear and regret and horror and shame and weakness and fragility are exposed to the soft strength of her open arms and her simple word okay and I start to cry. I start to cry. I start to cry."


James Frey isn't very good at using periods.  He has a LOT of run on sentences.


Anyways, this page made my heart race.  It's all about being vulnerable.  It's that feeling we get (whether romantic or not) when we open ourselves to another human being and let them in.  It's when we let our guard down and show someone something inside us that scares us, hurts, or makes us feel ashamed.  And gosh, sometimes that feels SO good.  I admit it, I'm a crier.  I'm a total crier!  People say I'm sensitive, and yes, I am, but it also takes a lot of guts and strength to face emotion head on and let out the tears.  


I guarantee if you haven't cried in awhile and you let yourself fall, expose yourself to another human being, it will be the greatest high you've experienced in a long time.  The few hours after a good cry for some reason bring an immensely good feeling.  Yes, you'll also feel like you have a feeling where you could be hurt deeper and more terribly than anything physical, but isn't it worth the risk?  Isn't the high from human interaction worth the risk of vulnerability?  

Being 27...

...was fun.  A LOT happened!!!  Here's a brief recap of the highlights:

• I plugged my way through a LOT of grad school.  We're talking 19 credits!  This included classes like Financial Accounting, Operations Management, International Strategy, Leadership Development, Ethics, Information Technology, Financial Management and Managing the Strategy Process.  WOW - the breadth and depth of knowledge I'm getting at Carlson is impressive.  The coming year will prove to be just as jam-packed (22 credits), but then I'll be on the home stretch!
• We got MARRIED!  This was for sure a highlight.  Not only were all wedding-related events memorable and fun, but the joy of being married to Jake for 11 months (!) has been even better than anticipated.  I love being Team Matthies.
• We got a puppy.  This coming from the girl who wasn't really interested in dogs for most of her life.  Callie has been a great addition to the Matthies family - and she has taught us a lot about caring for another living being.  The three of us are a force to be reckoned with!
• I visited my 28th and 29th states.  Those states are Hawaii and Arkansas.  Two very different experiences, but both equally important!  I have a new goal to hit all 50 states by a reasonable age, and I only have 21 left!  More than half of those are in the Northeast corner of the country - places like Maine, Vermont, New Jersey, New Hampshire, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Rhode Island - these can all be tackled in one trip, right?
• I got a new job.  Like not just a new job in Global Trade - a totally new job where I am challenged, stretched, inspired... I'm learning something every single day and meeting new people all the time.  I like who I am in my new role and the skills I have to use and practice.  I like how the people around me and the role itself force me into territory to work on things like asking the right questions and digging deeper into root causes.  I REALLY like my job!

28 will be a fun year.  I can already tell!  I will visit a new continent/country (India!), my 30th state (Nevada), travel to Mexico for a wedding, be a bridesmaid in two other weddings, hopefully be down to 1 semester left in grad school, and keep honing skills in my job.  I'm looking forward to the wild ride!

Nights Like This

Nights like this are what I live for.  I've always been a night person - and over the past couple weeks, I've had a lotta nights to live for.  Tonight was silly.  I had golf league with Colleen, Trace and Matt, and we were punchy!  We could barely focus on the game.  We were jumping around the course, making jokes, enjoying the bug-free, warm, Minnesota weather.  They brought me some birthday garb - it was ridiculous but fun.  Check it out!


Last night - my actual birthday night - was even more special.  It was also more planned out, and both types of nights have their merit.  My fam and Jake's fam - our fam - they were all here for a low key BBQ.  I felt so loved and so happy!


Something about evening, dusk, sunsets, darkness - it's so peaceful and calm and gives me time to reflect on the great day, the great week, the fantastic month I'm having.  Some people choose mornings, but for me, nights are where it's at.


I remember so many nights in my teenage years when I'd be driving home from friends' houses (yes, on Manning) just listening to music and staring at the stars.  I remember laying blankets out in Pioneer Park or sitting by a campfire taking in the scene around me.


Last week we got some of this too.  In the Ozarks, we had campfires, went nightswimming, played games, and sat out on the deck.  My absolute favorite night happened organically - we went out to the deck and ended up chilling, listening to rock music, and drank wine until the wee hours.  It was unreal!  Even during the week, my favorite time of the day is the last hour before bed.  We settle in, Jake reads in bed, I usually browse the internet or get some reading done myself, and all is good.  We reflect on the day.  If it was a good day, I reflect what made it good.  If it was a bad day, I know it's behind me, and tomorrow we will start anew.

Be patient...

Hi all! I know you've been checking back and disappointed to find nothing by way of new posts. Back from vacation, theres a lot in the works! Check back soon and thank you for your interest in my words! Xoxo, Allison

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The Importance of Family... and Unconditionality

This past month, the weekends have been TO.DIE.FOR.  I emphasize that because I've gotten to spend a lot of time thinking about family and about unconditional love.  


I'm lucky to have such great family on both Jake's and my side, as well as family who isn't related by blood, but the kind of friends we call family.  Between the Wires, the Matthies, the Hovlands, the Jauntys, the Family Breakfast Table, select Ponies, past housemates, mi familia chilena, and even some Target family, I'm a lucky gal.  What is it about family that keeps us coming back for more?  


One thing that I've found important to me in relationships is unconditionality.  I'm often defensive to feedback at work - negative, critical feedback, and I've come to realize it's because it makes me feel like the relationship is conditional.  It makes me feel like I have to prove myself and even once I have, keep proving myself, because the respect and high praise might be gone in an instant.  It makes me believe that a squabble might damage a relationship or make the other person think less of me.  It makes me think that things might not always be this good between us.  


But with family... now that's a different story.  I can be free, I can wear silly clothes, dance around like a maniac, sing (or attempt to) at the top of my lungs in the car, even go without eye make up, and they love me.  We can disagree and it makes us stronger.  I can hurt them and sincerely apologize and we grow from it.  It's not gone in an instant.  These are the relationships that feed us.  They make us whole.  They make us better people.  


I always say that to reach my inner circle - you have to first see me cry.  I'm not talking tears at a sad movie, I'm talking cry because something emotionally hit me.  It's true, and I think the relationship is stronger because I finally let my guard down and put it to the test of unconditionality.  If you've seen me cry, and you come back for more, it's worth fostering a lasting relationship.  Silly?  Maybe.  But for some reason I crave those bonds.


Genuine, authentic.  These are words I hope others use to describe me.  I will forever strive to be these things.  I think this world has a whole lotta superficial going around.  And it's not all that appealing to me.  Think about it for a minute - what quality strikes you as THIS important - the way I view unconditionality?  Who fulfills those roles in your life?  I'm hopeful you can answer that - I think the answer helps you understand what you stand for and what makes you whole.


PS - Callaway models unconditionality.  If you need to understand what I'm talking about, observe your favorite furry friend.  It's impressive!

3900 Saturdays

My next completely free weekend is August 28 (shhh, don't tell ANYONE).  I am someone who tries to attend every party, celebration, shower, get together, to be actively involved in my family and friends' lives, and give my full attention - to EVERYTHING.  And right now, I'm noticing it's a little much.


A few weeks after I started my new job, my new VP sent the following story to the entire team.  I'm not going to write much more now, because I think the story illustrates what I'm trying to get at.  Both my sister and my father-in-law, Pete, model this fairly well.  I need to get better (especially during the summer!)  I mean, I probably have only 2,500 left.


Oh and it doesn't have to be Saturday morning, either.  My favorite thing to do on a Saturday morning is sleep until I wake up on my own - not to the alarm clock!  I'd have to say my version of a countdown is more likely Friday night.  They should be peaceful, relaxing, and doing exactly what I want to do.  How do I get there?  More on that later.


Enjoy the story!

3900 Saturdays

The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday mornings.  Perhaps it's the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, or maybe it's the unbounded joy of not having to be at work.  Either way, the first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable.

A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the garage with a cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other.  What began as a typical Saturday morning turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time.

Let me tell you about it.

I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the band on my ham radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap net.  Along the way, I came across an older sounding chap, with a tremendous signal and a golden voice.  You know the kind; he sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business  He was telling whomever he was talking with something about "a thousand marbles."  I was intrigued and stopped to listen to what he had to say.

"Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you're busy with your job.  I'm sure they pay you well but it's a shame you have to be away from home and your family so much.  Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet.  It's too bad you missed your daughter's dance recital" he continued.  "Let me tell you something that has helped me keep my own priorities."  And that's when he began to explain his theory of a "thousand marbles."

"You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic.  The average person lives about seventy-five years.  I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years."

"Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3900, which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime.  Now, stick with me, Tom, I'm getting to the important part.  It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail", he went on, "and by that time I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays.  I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy.  So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had.  I ended up having to visit three toy stores to round up 1000 marbles.  I took them home and put them inside a large, clear plastic container right here in the shack next to my gear."

"Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and thrown it away.  I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life."

"There is nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities straight."

"Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign-off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast.  This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container.  I figure that if I make it until next Saturday then I have been given a little extra time.  And the one thing we can all use is a little more time."

"It was nice to meet you Tom, I hope you spend more time with your family, and I hope to meet you again here on the band.  This is a 75 Year old Man, K9NZQ, clear and going QRT, good morning!"

You could have heard a pin drop on the band when this fellow signed off.  I guess he gave us all a lot to think about.  I had planned to work on the antenna that morning, and then I was going to meet up with a few hams to work on the next club newsletter.

Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss.  "C'mon honey, I'm taking you and the kids to breakfast."  "What brought this on?" she asked with a smile."  "Oh, nothing special, it's just been a long time since we spent a Saturday together with the kids.  And hey, can we stop at a toy store while we're out?  I need to buy some marbles."

The Secret

So my mother in law, Lisa, introduced me to The Secret.  Before you roll your eyes, don't worry, I'm not about to talk about the imaginary discs that we shoot out of our bodies to magnetically attract positive or negative vibes from the earth (that one's for you, Jake)!  I just want to talk about the laws of attraction that I believe have always existed.  I live my life this way and think it's gotten me most of the way to where I am today.  It's why I LOVE life.


Sometimes people ask me how I got so lucky, why I have been able to achieve many things.  Some of it is luck, but a LOT of it is attitude.  Optimism.  Idealism.  Naivete?  I don't think so, but you be the judge.  I am intentionally idealistic!  I know that bad things happen, and we do fail, but I also find that when I really envision the outcome I want, more often than not, I get it.  When I envision success as the only option, I tend to succeed.  


Take, for example, the game of golf - putting, to be exact.  If I envision the ball rolling into the cup, I'll often sink the putt.  But if I try to think it'll happen but not really believe it, I'll miss the putt.  There is a difference.  I can be one foot away from the cup but if I feel a sense of doubt, I'll miss the putt.  Isn't that silly?  I've learned that when I feel this sense of doubt, I should step away from the putt, shake it off, and re-address the ball.


So how does this translate to life?  Why don't we always envision the best if it will always get us the best?  Obviously, we aren't capable of 100% confidence.  We doubt our abilities when giving a big presentation, taking a test, interviewing for a job.  But there are also other players at stake keeping us from achieving our every vision.  Hypothetically, if everyone envisioned the best possible outcome in every scenario, couldn't we all be happy?  The problem here is that our needs and wants compete with one another.  And the times we don't get what we want - they're important too.  They give us perspective and make us grateful for when things go well.  We feel failure and rejection which makes us stronger and teaches us to do it better next time.  


It's certainly not all luck, it's certainly not all mentality, nor is it all skill.  It's a combination that we constantly have to balance, but the more we can practice skill with that right "winning" mentality, coupled with a little bit of good luck, the more often it's going to feel damn good to succeed.

Fearless

"And I don't know how it gets better than this 
You take my hand and drag me head first fearless..."

So while we were tweening out at the Taylor Swift concert, this song came on.  Fearless.  It made me feel something I hadn't in quite awhile... something I used to cherish every single day.  Invincibility.  

Some people roll their eyes at a 27-year old who likes Taylor Swift.  But really, I don't mind!  She made Time's 100 Most Influential People of 2010, so obviously I'm not alone.  And she's an idealist, like me.  It's funny though, because her lyrics sometimes make her sound cynical, but I really think she's an uber-idealist.  She thinks about things like invincibility, fearlessness, true love, and fairytales, like I do.  And when she was up there in her Victorian-style dress with ruffles, singing "Love Story" about Romeo and Juliet, I was hoping she would truly get her fairytale one day.  That she wouldn't turn cynical and jaded about life and love, like adults tend to do.


Sometimes I just like to think about the times when I was invincible, when there were no real consequences.  Times like when I'd walk myself home on dark Chilean streets from the bar, when I went horseback riding in Patagonia, when there wasn't room for everyone so I'd hop in the trunk of Betsy's car at GAC.  I think about carefree times at Walmart at 3am on a school night.  Of course I wasn't invincible, and there could have been consequences - I was just lucky.  And I didn't realize there were reasons to worry.  But now as things happen, I have Jake, my job, my house, and as things start to fall into place, the consequences seem greater.  Things start to control us.  We lose our sense of freedom.


I think about the worries that come along with owning nice things.  Now that I have a nice car, I get annoyed when it gets scratched.  Oh, it irks me when I notice a tiny scratch!  Or even carrying my purse around - with my camera, my cell phone, my iPod.  I have more things to guard.  I keep my guard up.  I used to drive beat up cars and carry a few dollar bills in my wallet.  I didn't have much to lose.  I wasn't worried about these things - I was carefree!


It's nice to be successful and be able to enjoy more of my "wants" than just what I need - but it also comes with a price.  I have a lot to think about, a lot to be responsible for.  I have Jake, and now even another living being to care for, Callaway.  And one day, we'll have kids and I'll be responsible for even more.  But I have to hang onto some of that invincibility - at least temper my fears and my worries.  Just because bad things can happen doesn't mean they will!  And just because we have nice things doesn't mean we'll lose them.  These are thoughts that go through my head.  I need to remind myself of those times when I was fearless and how good to felt to be in charge of nothing but that moment.  And hopefully find times and memories like that once again.