So my mother in law, Lisa, introduced me to The Secret. Before you roll your eyes, don't worry, I'm not about to talk about the imaginary discs that we shoot out of our bodies to magnetically attract positive or negative vibes from the earth (that one's for you, Jake)! I just want to talk about the laws of attraction that I believe have always existed. I live my life this way and think it's gotten me most of the way to where I am today. It's why I LOVE life.
Sometimes people ask me how I got so lucky, why I have been able to achieve many things. Some of it is luck, but a LOT of it is attitude. Optimism. Idealism. Naivete? I don't think so, but you be the judge. I am intentionally idealistic! I know that bad things happen, and we do fail, but I also find that when I really envision the outcome I want, more often than not, I get it. When I envision success as the only option, I tend to succeed.
Take, for example, the game of golf - putting, to be exact. If I envision the ball rolling into the cup, I'll often sink the putt. But if I try to think it'll happen but not really believe it, I'll miss the putt. There is a difference. I can be one foot away from the cup but if I feel a sense of doubt, I'll miss the putt. Isn't that silly? I've learned that when I feel this sense of doubt, I should step away from the putt, shake it off, and re-address the ball.
So how does this translate to life? Why don't we always envision the best if it will always get us the best? Obviously, we aren't capable of 100% confidence. We doubt our abilities when giving a big presentation, taking a test, interviewing for a job. But there are also other players at stake keeping us from achieving our every vision. Hypothetically, if everyone envisioned the best possible outcome in every scenario, couldn't we all be happy? The problem here is that our needs and wants compete with one another. And the times we don't get what we want - they're important too. They give us perspective and make us grateful for when things go well. We feel failure and rejection which makes us stronger and teaches us to do it better next time.
It's certainly not all luck, it's certainly not all mentality, nor is it all skill. It's a combination that we constantly have to balance, but the more we can practice skill with that right "winning" mentality, coupled with a little bit of good luck, the more often it's going to feel damn good to succeed.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Fearless
"And I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me head first fearless..."
You take my hand and drag me head first fearless..."
So while we were tweening out at the Taylor Swift concert, this song came on. Fearless. It made me feel something I hadn't in quite awhile... something I used to cherish every single day. Invincibility.
Some people roll their eyes at a 27-year old who likes Taylor Swift. But really, I don't mind! She made Time's 100 Most Influential People of 2010, so obviously I'm not alone. And she's an idealist, like me. It's funny though, because her lyrics sometimes make her sound cynical, but I really think she's an uber-idealist. She thinks about things like invincibility, fearlessness, true love, and fairytales, like I do. And when she was up there in her Victorian-style dress with ruffles, singing "Love Story" about Romeo and Juliet, I was hoping she would truly get her fairytale one day. That she wouldn't turn cynical and jaded about life and love, like adults tend to do.
Sometimes I just like to think about the times when I was invincible, when there were no real consequences. Times like when I'd walk myself home on dark Chilean streets from the bar, when I went horseback riding in Patagonia, when there wasn't room for everyone so I'd hop in the trunk of Betsy's car at GAC. I think about carefree times at Walmart at 3am on a school night. Of course I wasn't invincible, and there could have been consequences - I was just lucky. And I didn't realize there were reasons to worry. But now as things happen, I have Jake, my job, my house, and as things start to fall into place, the consequences seem greater. Things start to control us. We lose our sense of freedom.
I think about the worries that come along with owning nice things. Now that I have a nice car, I get annoyed when it gets scratched. Oh, it irks me when I notice a tiny scratch! Or even carrying my purse around - with my camera, my cell phone, my iPod. I have more things to guard. I keep my guard up. I used to drive beat up cars and carry a few dollar bills in my wallet. I didn't have much to lose. I wasn't worried about these things - I was carefree!
It's nice to be successful and be able to enjoy more of my "wants" than just what I need - but it also comes with a price. I have a lot to think about, a lot to be responsible for. I have Jake, and now even another living being to care for, Callaway. And one day, we'll have kids and I'll be responsible for even more. But I have to hang onto some of that invincibility - at least temper my fears and my worries. Just because bad things can happen doesn't mean they will! And just because we have nice things doesn't mean we'll lose them. These are thoughts that go through my head. I need to remind myself of those times when I was fearless and how good to felt to be in charge of nothing but that moment. And hopefully find times and memories like that once again.
Sometimes I just like to think about the times when I was invincible, when there were no real consequences. Times like when I'd walk myself home on dark Chilean streets from the bar, when I went horseback riding in Patagonia, when there wasn't room for everyone so I'd hop in the trunk of Betsy's car at GAC. I think about carefree times at Walmart at 3am on a school night. Of course I wasn't invincible, and there could have been consequences - I was just lucky. And I didn't realize there were reasons to worry. But now as things happen, I have Jake, my job, my house, and as things start to fall into place, the consequences seem greater. Things start to control us. We lose our sense of freedom.
I think about the worries that come along with owning nice things. Now that I have a nice car, I get annoyed when it gets scratched. Oh, it irks me when I notice a tiny scratch! Or even carrying my purse around - with my camera, my cell phone, my iPod. I have more things to guard. I keep my guard up. I used to drive beat up cars and carry a few dollar bills in my wallet. I didn't have much to lose. I wasn't worried about these things - I was carefree!
It's nice to be successful and be able to enjoy more of my "wants" than just what I need - but it also comes with a price. I have a lot to think about, a lot to be responsible for. I have Jake, and now even another living being to care for, Callaway. And one day, we'll have kids and I'll be responsible for even more. But I have to hang onto some of that invincibility - at least temper my fears and my worries. Just because bad things can happen doesn't mean they will! And just because we have nice things doesn't mean we'll lose them. These are thoughts that go through my head. I need to remind myself of those times when I was fearless and how good to felt to be in charge of nothing but that moment. And hopefully find times and memories like that once again.
Monday, May 3, 2010
People Who KNOW Me
I spent this weekend with some great friends - people who know me. I think this is an understated concept, and since I have spent much of the last 4 weeks in meetings with purely new people, I think I know what I'm talking about.
How good does it feel to have someone truly be your ally? By ally, I'm talking about someone who will back you up and support your decisions even when you show a little bit of your crazy side. I think credibility is underrated. It's rated, just not high enough on the overall scale of importance. Credibility is what gets us through the tough times, because the people around us are able to carry on when we're lacking. Some days we're on our game, but when we're not, we rely on our allies, the people to whom we are credible, we have value. Tonight in class, the CIO of a Fortune 100 company spoke. She talked about how she wouldn't have succeeded without the people around her - reinforced that it's who you know, not what you know. At Target we call it Board of Directors - people we rely on for various parts of our lives. Some people are mentors, others are social advisors, others are coaches, partners, supporters, and friends.
Who are these people in your world? When I think of mine, I can't help but smile. There is a book I received from one of my people right before my wedding. It's called Vital Friends. These are the people who get us through life. They not only pick us up during the bad times, but they also accelerate our success. The book splits Vital Friends into categories, like Champion, Collaborator, Companion, Mind Opener, and Energizer. They fulfill needs in our lives that we cannot fulfill alone.
In my new role, I'm finding myself a bit lost without the people who know me. But I realize that takes time. It always does. Lasting relationships aren't formed overnight. For now I'm plugging along (happily!) and focusing on how my new relationships are formed, and how my vital, lasting relationships can pick me up during hard times and elevate my success. I'd have to say, it's going alright.
How good does it feel to have someone truly be your ally? By ally, I'm talking about someone who will back you up and support your decisions even when you show a little bit of your crazy side. I think credibility is underrated. It's rated, just not high enough on the overall scale of importance. Credibility is what gets us through the tough times, because the people around us are able to carry on when we're lacking. Some days we're on our game, but when we're not, we rely on our allies, the people to whom we are credible, we have value. Tonight in class, the CIO of a Fortune 100 company spoke. She talked about how she wouldn't have succeeded without the people around her - reinforced that it's who you know, not what you know. At Target we call it Board of Directors - people we rely on for various parts of our lives. Some people are mentors, others are social advisors, others are coaches, partners, supporters, and friends.
Who are these people in your world? When I think of mine, I can't help but smile. There is a book I received from one of my people right before my wedding. It's called Vital Friends. These are the people who get us through life. They not only pick us up during the bad times, but they also accelerate our success. The book splits Vital Friends into categories, like Champion, Collaborator, Companion, Mind Opener, and Energizer. They fulfill needs in our lives that we cannot fulfill alone.
In my new role, I'm finding myself a bit lost without the people who know me. But I realize that takes time. It always does. Lasting relationships aren't formed overnight. For now I'm plugging along (happily!) and focusing on how my new relationships are formed, and how my vital, lasting relationships can pick me up during hard times and elevate my success. I'd have to say, it's going alright.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
