Friendship is something I hold very dear. Back in the day, when I first created an email address in high school, my password was always friendship (or some variation). What's interesting is how friendships ebb and flow and grow over the years. Now in our 30s, I am lucky to say that I have friendships that have endured multiple decades.
My oldest friendship is 25 years old (aside from family) and it's crazy to think of how much changes in a quarter of a century! She probably doesn't read this blog, and although we don't talk all of the time I still hold our times very near and dear to my heart. Many of my closest current friendships are over 10 years old, and a lot certainly changes between 18 and 31.
We do have hard times. I think introducing kids into the mix is one of those hard times, like some of the other changes we've been through: moving states, getting married, being distressed and disappointed and searching for new jobs. It's all about being supportive, encouraging, honest, and meeting people where they're at.
I happened to have a kid before a lot of my friends, and I won't pretend it's been easy the entire time. It can be hard for people without kids to understand, but then saying "you won't understand" can be alienating. I find that I gravitate to conversations with those who have kids, because they just know what I'm going through. There's a certain level of empathy. Is this wrong? I don't think so.
It's times like this when I want to retreat to the great blogs like www.momastery.com and www.handsfreemama.com, the safe places for parents. Because actually, as adorable and lovable as our kids are and as blessed as we are to have them, sometimes we just need a retreat for ourselves. I think this is okay. It's okay to admit what we need - because in reality most of the time it's not at all about what we need, it's about what they need. And we love to give them what they need.
In short, I gotta trust that everything will be okay. Everything will turn out right - as I continue to surround myself with positive and encouraging people and make decisions by trusting my instinct. We're all on a different path and that's okay too! I'm just lucky and blessed to be sharing this path with my beautiful family, who make the uphill battles all worthwhile.
My oldest friendship is 25 years old (aside from family) and it's crazy to think of how much changes in a quarter of a century! She probably doesn't read this blog, and although we don't talk all of the time I still hold our times very near and dear to my heart. Many of my closest current friendships are over 10 years old, and a lot certainly changes between 18 and 31.
We do have hard times. I think introducing kids into the mix is one of those hard times, like some of the other changes we've been through: moving states, getting married, being distressed and disappointed and searching for new jobs. It's all about being supportive, encouraging, honest, and meeting people where they're at.
I happened to have a kid before a lot of my friends, and I won't pretend it's been easy the entire time. It can be hard for people without kids to understand, but then saying "you won't understand" can be alienating. I find that I gravitate to conversations with those who have kids, because they just know what I'm going through. There's a certain level of empathy. Is this wrong? I don't think so.
It's times like this when I want to retreat to the great blogs like www.momastery.com and www.handsfreemama.com, the safe places for parents. Because actually, as adorable and lovable as our kids are and as blessed as we are to have them, sometimes we just need a retreat for ourselves. I think this is okay. It's okay to admit what we need - because in reality most of the time it's not at all about what we need, it's about what they need. And we love to give them what they need.
In short, I gotta trust that everything will be okay. Everything will turn out right - as I continue to surround myself with positive and encouraging people and make decisions by trusting my instinct. We're all on a different path and that's okay too! I'm just lucky and blessed to be sharing this path with my beautiful family, who make the uphill battles all worthwhile.
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