My good friend Jennie sent me this article, saying "I thought of you when I read this." My first reaction was-- gosh, it might be okay to cry at work, but is it okay to be the one people think of when they read an article saying it's okay to cry at work?? I also had a similar reaction when my old boss clipped an article out of the newspaper and sent it to me, saying "Thought of you," and the article was about why more women cry at work than men.
So-- these people are obviously pointing it out blatantly to me, and while I could wonder if there's hidden meaning behind these articles ending up in my inbox, I'm honestly just embracing it. Actually, owning it. Sheryl Sandberg says it's okay.
In reality, I spent a lot of my 20s getting feedback and input from other people on how to be and how to act, how I was perceived and how to tow the line. I should be "less this" and "more that" and use qualifiers and phrase things a certain way. To be honest, I gained a LOT of perspective about how what I say impacts others. I am so incredibly grateful for being able to look at myself from outside of myself (if you haven't tried this, it's exhausting but OH SO worth it). It has helped me a great deal in building genuine relationships, having casual relationships, and in dealing with tougher situations.
I also vividly remember when I hit 30 years old, I said to myself, "This decade is going to be SOOO much better than the last." And I think in part I feel this way because I'm frankly not going to try so hard to please everyone. It's exhausting! I've had this fear of disappointing others, this fear of being called out as different and not fitting the mold. However, do I really want to look back on my life and say to myself, "Gosh, I accomplished so much; I fit the mold and did what others expected of me." Not really my main purpose in life!
I do want to be liked. That's no secret. I also want to be respected. BUT--- as my mother-in-law recently reminded me, I can only control myself and my actions. I can't control how others respond in every situation. I will continue to focus on the Maya Angelou quote because I want to bring LOVE into the world and leave things better than I found them. I want to drive a beautiful purpose into this world, for and with my family and friends.
But when things don't go well, or someone does something that is hurtful or feels disappointed by something I said or did, or we have conflict, it's okay to cry. Whether around family, friends, or in the office. Emotions help us build deeper connections and as Sheryl says, help us place authenticity over perfectionism. All great things for living large and focusing on people and purpose.
So, I will continue to think about how emotions impact others' view of us, but when they happen, I'll also make sure that as long as I'm being genuine and true to myself and the relationship at hand, it's okay to cry. The tears will dry but the impact of the moment will likely last longer, and hopefully make us better.
"People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel." --Maya Angelou
So-- these people are obviously pointing it out blatantly to me, and while I could wonder if there's hidden meaning behind these articles ending up in my inbox, I'm honestly just embracing it. Actually, owning it. Sheryl Sandberg says it's okay.
In reality, I spent a lot of my 20s getting feedback and input from other people on how to be and how to act, how I was perceived and how to tow the line. I should be "less this" and "more that" and use qualifiers and phrase things a certain way. To be honest, I gained a LOT of perspective about how what I say impacts others. I am so incredibly grateful for being able to look at myself from outside of myself (if you haven't tried this, it's exhausting but OH SO worth it). It has helped me a great deal in building genuine relationships, having casual relationships, and in dealing with tougher situations.
I also vividly remember when I hit 30 years old, I said to myself, "This decade is going to be SOOO much better than the last." And I think in part I feel this way because I'm frankly not going to try so hard to please everyone. It's exhausting! I've had this fear of disappointing others, this fear of being called out as different and not fitting the mold. However, do I really want to look back on my life and say to myself, "Gosh, I accomplished so much; I fit the mold and did what others expected of me." Not really my main purpose in life!
I do want to be liked. That's no secret. I also want to be respected. BUT--- as my mother-in-law recently reminded me, I can only control myself and my actions. I can't control how others respond in every situation. I will continue to focus on the Maya Angelou quote because I want to bring LOVE into the world and leave things better than I found them. I want to drive a beautiful purpose into this world, for and with my family and friends.
But when things don't go well, or someone does something that is hurtful or feels disappointed by something I said or did, or we have conflict, it's okay to cry. Whether around family, friends, or in the office. Emotions help us build deeper connections and as Sheryl says, help us place authenticity over perfectionism. All great things for living large and focusing on people and purpose.
So, I will continue to think about how emotions impact others' view of us, but when they happen, I'll also make sure that as long as I'm being genuine and true to myself and the relationship at hand, it's okay to cry. The tears will dry but the impact of the moment will likely last longer, and hopefully make us better.
"People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel." --Maya Angelou
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