#37

Earlier this year, I realized I had written exactly 37 posts in 2010 and 2011. I made a mental note that this must be my number, and here I am on December 31st, writing my last post of 2012. I guess that's what you can expect from me as a yearly quota!

Today, I am just going to write briefly about resolutions. Last year, my main resolution was to make 2012 the year of balance - balance between work and personal life, balance between time for myself and time for others, balance between crazy and quiet. And I really feel that I have achieved it, however elusive the concept might be! I will definitely keep this going - at some points in the past I did not have balance, especially during some of those grad school semesters while starting a new job.

This coming year, I'm going to focus on two things: gratitude, and being present. I have so much to be grateful for, and sometimes I don't realize it until I no longer have it. Examples: health, warmth, free time, and air conditioning on a 100+ degree Fourth of July. I am also going to focus on being present in whatever I'm doing - getting my head out of my cell phone and computer when I'm spending time with people, enjoying the current day instead of wishing for the next.

As the sun sets on 2012, I'm leaving you with this picture, as the sun was setting on our lake on Labor Day. To me, Labor Day always feels like an ending, as we close up and settle down for the (long, cold) winter. Tonight is a bit of an ending, too, and a slice of hope and excitement of the great things to come.

Christmas This Year

Christmas this year just felt a little bit more magical, a tad bit more special...

I found I was remembering how Christmas looks through a child's eyes. The lights, the decorated tree, the beautiful bows and boxes and gift wrap. 

The handmade stockings, hung by the chimney on the wall with care, and even a stocking for the puppy.

Our Christmas break started with Jake's birthday, so Baby K got some practice helping daddy tear open his gifts. She did great! And we surprised him for a visit at work - we sat at the bar and had some drinks, and they even let him go home early!

On Sunday, we went to the Children's Museum for the first time! It was like our own little family holiday outing. It was so neat to see how she interacted with some of the exhibits. Her favorite was the water table exhibit, with fountains and ping pong balls and soapy suds.

Daddy likes putting bubbles on her head when he does dishes, and she got some bubbles here, too!

Christmas Eve was at my parents', where they had a tall tree in their open living room. The pile of presents was impressive, especially with a new little gift opener this year.

We got a family photo after church - I love this one!

Kennedy got a new sled from Grandma and Grandpa, and here you can see her pure joy in being pulled around after church in the driveway. It was a great new experience!

Taking a break from presents to fly with Grandma

Checking out the snow globe with Auntie Natalie

I think she looks so old here - can't believe a year is just around the corner!

We woke up at home on Christmas morning, and had a beautiful lazy time as a family. We danced to Christmas music, opened gifts, giggled, and played with our new things. Here's K kissing her new baby doll (something she does frequently now).

And of course, a cell phone! It's funny to think that a techie-9-month-old would find such joy in a little gadget toy, but she certainly does. She often drags it around the house with her.

Christmas afternoon was at Grandma and Bumpa's house (Jake's parents') and we thoroughly enjoyed round 3. 

She sure loves her daddy

Lisa made a mashed potato bar and served them in these glasses - I thought it was a super cool idea!

In the end, when I sat with my love on Christmas evening, after all the gift wrap was crumpled, the boxes were torn, and the bows were thrown away saved for next year, I remembered that the magic of Christmas is definitely not tangible - it's something we feel, something that comes only once a year, sparkling in its brilliance, cozy in its warmth, and then fleeting, and we wait until it comes again.

A Different Kind of Christmas (Last Year)

This post is about a year old, considering we flew home from Montana exactly a year ago. I had wanted to write about our time in Montana last Christmas, which was a really wonderful weeklong trip to visit Jake's Grandma and Grandpa at their home in Kalispell. Beautiful! I feel so lucky to be part of this family, and it was a wonderful relaxing trip during my last trimester of pregnancy. 

I had finished my MBA classes the week before, and was extremely excited to land in this charming little town. It was Jake's 30th birthday so first, we had to celebrate with cake.

My husband in 25 years and in 50 years - pretty cute men!

We were in charge of Christmas Eve dinner, and we made lasagna.

I learned how to make rosettes from Grandma, which is a family tradition

Appetizers on Christmas day- we had far too much good food!

Our stockings around the chimney as we celebrated the season together

Halfway through the week, we rented a townhome in Whitefish in the mountains. I was itching to ski, but the baby would not have approved (nor would my OB!) So I relaxed all day by the fire with my mother-in-law while the other "kids" skied. Here is my dude in all his glory.

Our townhome in Whitefish

Gorgeous mountains!

Gorgeous wintery weather and scenery

Adorable little resort in the mountains

It was awesome to partake in Jake's family memories, and I spent so much time thinking about the fun of our future family holiday memories at home. I love holiday traditions, and know that we will not often be traveling over Christmas. I was extremely thankful for the change of pace for a year, and I will fondly look back on this trip always. Next post, I'll write about another different kind of Christmas, the one we just finished celebrating!

Kennedy at 9 Months

I can't believe she's been out longer than she was in! 9 months of knowing her as she grew inside me, and now 9 months of knowing her as she grows into the little person she's becoming. And she sure is growing by leaps and bounds, physically, emotionally, socially. It's awesome to see her personality shining through!

At 9 months, Kennedy:

• Is 40th percentile weight (17 lb. 9 oz.) and 60th height (28"). She's evening out now more to average, where she used to be so long. She still seems tall to me, considering how quickly she grows out of her clothes!
• Wears 9 month clothes but is really ready for her 12 months clothes, so we'll be switching over her closet soon!
• Has two favorite activities: reading and bathtime. I think she would go between the two all day if she could.
• Loves practicing standing and pulling herself up to standing. She pulls herself up on the dishwasher, or a box, or most often, on our laps. Then she stands and climbs up our crossed legs to stand as HIGH as she can!
• Says "dada" and "mama" both, but still "dada" more. Her one clear word is "yeah" when she is affirming a question we ask her. 
• Has two gestures to communicate - she waves, and she shakes her head no. If she doesn't want what we are feeding her she shakes her head and pushes us out of her way! She sure knows what she wants.
• Has two bottom teeth. Her teething has calmed down quite a bit, and she's been sleeping more consistently. She still wakes a couple times a night, but I'm feeling progress in this area, too.
• Takes 2 naps/day quite consistently.
• Babbles a lot, "reads" books, "sings" music, and is starting to really play independently with her toys. She loves playing together, but can also play with her toys.
• Likes sharing her toys or pacifier, holds things up to our face to share, and then back to her face.
• Still has an all-time favorite song (the only one that gets a smile every single time): "Airplanes fly, in the sky, zoom, zoom..."
• Is showing more interest in her taggies blankie
• Likes mango, pears, broccoli, carrots, chicken stock

Merry Christmas from our family to yours! A friend told me, "Babies make everything more fun." Boy, was she right!

Today

Today, life is NOT a honeymoon. Not for the families in Connecticut, not really for any of us. I learned of this tragedy around Noon today, just a couple hours after it happened. My heart has been heavy ever since.

Put aside the politics, just let's come up with a new way. How many more tragedies will there be? I saw lots of posts on my Facebook news feed today, and they've made me really think.

Post #1: "If only access to mental healthcare were as easy as access to guns..." It's really probably both, along with a whole other host of things. Let's do it all. Let's make some changes, and make them quickly.

Post #2: Other countries don't have these problems. I saw a thread that included comments from an Australian, Canadian, and Spaniard, saying these problems don't exist there and asking what is wrong with America? I really am wondering this myself. We are so advanced, but somehow so stifled. Can we please learn from some of these more peaceful countries? This graph is alarming: Graph of Assault Deaths per capita The entire article here. (graph includes countries in the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development: www.oecd.org)

Post #3: Other countries do have these problems. And sadly, today as well. (Article: China knife attack at school) Note that the weapon was a knife, and 23 were injured, not dead. Of course we will never rid this world of hateful acts, but let's do what we can to keep eliminate casualties. In no way do I want to minimize the gravity of this knife attack, but the knife situation sure ended differently than the gun situation, didn't it?

Post #4: "People's right to bear arms infringing on people's right to live. Which is really more important?" Yes, we are America, the land of the free. But with so much freedom, there is also a cost. We pay the price when one person's exercised freedom directly hinders the safety and security of another.

Post #5: "If someone in the school were armed, think of how many lives could have been saved?" Really. If someone in the school were armed. That's what we want? Teachers, school officials, administrators should now obtain guns and be prepared to use them? One armed person is dangerous but two or more brings safety?

It's time to swallow any pride about being right or wrong. Polarizing Plan A doesn't work, and polarizing Plan B probably won't either. I spend lots of time in general thinking about the concept of a paradigm, or "a typical example or pattern of something." We all know things to be truths in our life. We shape our truths based on what we know, based on the way things have always been. And we create absolute statements based on what we know to be true. For example, as kids, we knew we could always expect snow by Christmas because that's what we'd observed every year. We counted on it. But then, what happens to our perceived truth when we don't get snow one year? No snow angels or sledding on Christmas. It's different. Our truth and our point of view has to shift. (Simple example, but you get the point)

Let's try things differently. In business, if we don't have something right, our bosses tell us to go back to the drawing board and figure it out. We must come away with a plan. The argument about whether to go with Plan A or Plan B won't fly. We MUST put aside our differences and come up with something (Plan C?) I'd expect the same thing of those in charge of policies and protecting our country here, too. I certainly don't have the answers, I'm just looking for some progress towards finding the answers.

Tonight, Kennedy nursed and I rocked her, while saying a prayer for the victims of this awful day. I couldn't come up with many words, but all I could pray for is peace. Peace for the victims, peace for the other children who witnessed and will forever be scarred by this event, peace for those injured who now must heal. Peace for our country. There were far too many physical injuries today, and the number of emotional injuries is insurmountable.

While cooking tonight, I listened to Christmas music:

So here's my lifelong wish
My grown-up Christmas list
Not for myself
But for a world in need

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up Christmas list

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Silent Night, Holy Night,
All is calm, All is bright

Lots of bright little stars shining down on us from Heaven tonight. May they be forever in our hearts, and their families find comfort in their warmth that will be with us always.

12/12/12

Today I received two separate notes about 12/12/12. The first was an email from a friend, wishing me a happy 12/12/12, and telling me she knows that I will do something special on this special date, and that it's only 12 days until Kennedy's first Christmas. The second was a text message from a friend, saying Happy 12/12/12 at 12:12pm! 

Boy, do my friends know me well.

What I love about this is that people know me and my quirks, the things that will make me smile. Both of these things made me smile today, and we did do something special on this date. It was the perfect day for Kennedy to meet Santa for the first time. 

She did pretty well, don't you think?

What I love to think about this season, and especially on 12/12/12 - something which will never happen again in our lifetime (nor something similar like 11/11/11, 10/10/10, etc.) - I love to think about the beauty of these simple little things that make us smile. The numerical pattern of the date, a hot cup of tea, a cozy fireplace, twinkling Christmas lights, the smell of warm cookies in the oven. Big hugs and time with loved ones. Christmas music. Old traditions and new ones.

May you all have a joyous holiday season, and I hope your 12/12/12 was as spectacular as mine. It's the little things, isn't it?!

So Thankful Indeed.

It's been over a week since Thanksgiving, and I still owe the blogosphere my A-Z thankfulness for the year. Oh, so much to be thankful for in this blessed year of 2012. One I will surely never forget.

• Apples. I truly love a good crisp apple, or baked dessert, including my grandmother's scrumptious homemade pie that my mother recreated on Thanksgiving this year. (I had 2 slices!)
• Books. Yes, tons of books. This year, my books have shifted from topics of young adult vampire romances and bow-and-arrow-wielding archer girls, to books on breastfeeding, month-by-month baby milestones, and that elusive sleep we keep hearing about. But nonetheless, I love poring through them for whatever they provide. I went through an "I don't like books" stage, and I realized I was selecting the wrong books. I'm so glad that's over!
• Callaway. Yes, this year especially, she has been the most patient, loving, loyal little puppy. Okay not always patient, but definitely the other two. She's learning how to share time and attention, and she's still got her same special place in my heart.
• Diaper Genie - this thing is genius! We love how the diapers just disappear, and when we remove the cartridge, just how many diapers we've contained in that tiny tube. I guess I am also thankful for diapers, and my ability to change them quickly. 
• ECFE classes. Kennedy and I took one together when she was 3-9 weeks old, and it was delightful. She slept through most of it, but I got to see kids from 0-12 months and learn from the other moms and our instructor. I want to do more of these things with her!
• Family and Friends. I know that everyone thinks this, but mine are simply the best. ;)
• Grandparents, specifically, the four who became new grandparents the day that Kennedy was born. I had such a special relationship with each of my grandparents through our time together, and it is so neat to see how Kennedy will get to form these bonds too.
• Home. I don't think of myself as an introvert, but I'm learning just how much I love being at home. Because Jake works nights and Kennedy goes to bed, I find more time at home this year than ever before (being done with grad school helps, too!)
• Ideas. I have learned this year how much I love the ideation process, especially at work. I like taking an ambiguous problem and creating ways to solve it. Of course, by coming up with good ideas.
• Jake, who is the best daddy to our little girl. I truly could not make it through this first year of mommyhood without him. He is a total support system and our rock!
• Kennedy (obvious answer). I keep saying "I was born to be a mom." It's simply true.
• Learning - which has involved both graduating with my MBA earlier this year, as well as learning some fun new hobbies, including cooking new recipes, and how to take pictures in manual mode on my DSLR camera. I am really enjoying my hobby time!
• Meal swap. This year, some friends and I started a meal swap, where we make a bunch of the same meal and swap about once a month. This means convenient freezer meals, new recipes, saving money through cooking bulk, and honestly great food. I really love meal swap!
• Noodles and Co., definitely one of my favorite "fast food" restaurants. I always say this is one of two restaurants missing from downtown (the other one is Buffalo Wild Wings).
• Old friends who have been around for a long time. Even my college friends have been around for over 10 years! And high school friends - we're looking at 15+. When Kennedy was born, it was neat to see who came by to visit and show support. We've got a great group surrounding us.
• Pinecones. Specifically, the addition of the new golden pinecone on this year's Thanksgiving table at my Mom and Dad's house. (see below)
• Quiet. As in, when the baby is sleeping, and we have time to relax, and I can hear myself think. Or sleep well at night. (This is much harder to come by as of late!)
• Raffi. Yes, Raffi has taken over my iTunes, and is played sometimes even when I'm the only one listening. How can anyone not be in a good mood while listening to Raffi?
• Singing competitions, and more specifically, The Voice. This has been an awesome show for Jake and I to watch this year. We watched last season during my maternity leave while Kennedy was a sleepy little being on the couch or in our arms, and we're digging this season after she goes to bed.
• Time. Time to think, time to practice hobbies (namely cooking, photography, reading, writing), time to hold my loves in my arms, time to close my eyes and relax. I have really learned the true importance of time for these things, especially when our family feels stretched a little thinner these days. 
• Unconditional relationships. I often think of this concept and how important it is to me. I really hate conditional relationships - the ones that are fickle and can change based on a disagreement, mistake, or other discord. The best ones are those who still love me when I'm tired, crabby, stressed, my house is cluttered, my hair and makeup are undone, or any combination of the above. YOU deserve these kinds of relationships, too. 
• Vampires, and the grand finale that came to theaters this month. I do love a good vampire saga.
• Work friends, who are now just friends who I work with. There are a handful of people at work who are truly amazing, loving, caring people in my life. They are the ones who give me happiness throughout the workday, since we spend so much time working. They give perspective, and are my ultimate support. You know who you are. :)
• X-pressiveness. I would absolutely say Kennedy's best personality trait is how expressive she is, pretty much all the time. Lately, the best is how she gets around other babies/kids, where she can hardly contain her excitement in "talking" to them. I know I cheated on the letter, but it counts.
• Yogurt Lab. This was an awesome new addition to the Twin Cities, and we've enjoyed making our own desserts there countless times! What a great thing to do in the summer. Ah, summer.
• Zebras. I saw some this year at the San Diego Zoo (below) with five great friends, when we were celebrating turning 30. I guess I could also say zoos.

Kennedy at 8 Months - aka The New Meaning of Thankful

This cheeky chi-qui is truly the light of our lives! Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and although I write this 4 days late, I have not for one minute forgotten how wonderful it is to be 8 months alive and how grateful I am of everything she is. Someone told me 6-9 months is the best stage; I truly cannot imagine "the best stage" ending in just one month! I don't think it's possible! At 8 months, Kennedy: 

• Popped her first tooth! Exactly on her 8 month day. That tooth is a little bugger, and still pushing its way up, up, up, which I think is also creating bullet #2.
• Isn't sleeping the greatest. It's really a "two steps forward, one step back" game, isn't it? A couple nights ago she slept for 6 hours straight (and 12 hours total). Last night I think she was up 6 times all night, and I could barely keep my eyes open at work. We'll get there sooner or later!
• Naps pretty well. Always a morning nap and early afternoon nap, and sometimes a third nap late afternoon
• Wears 6-9 month clothes and onesies, and 3-6 month shoes. Her little feet finally keep shoes on them! 
• Has the cheekiest of smiles (exhibit A, above). She smiles with her whole face, and it glistens through her eyes. She knows how to turn on the sweet smile, the mischievous smile, the sassy smile, the cheeky grin, and any other combination you can think of.
• Is strong-willed and extremely determined to getting what she wants. She will work to get a toy, a cell phone, to pet Callie, or crawl all over her daddy. She already has a groan that gives me a glimpse into her pout, and even further her tantrum. Oh, the twos/threes will be fun.
• Has a sweet sing-songey voice and says "dah, bleh, gah, huh, and puh". Nothing with an "m" yet... :)
• LOVES the bath and LOVES to read, and I'm not sure which one more than the other.
• Has a few favorite books and will select them every time when given a choice. "Are You a Cow?" "Playtime Peekaboo" "On the Night You Were Born" "Touch and Feel Baby Animals" are at the top of the list.
• Army crawls with the best of them. She's full-fledged crawling in my book, just doesn't pick her tummy off the floor. But it's so effective that maybe she never will!
• Stands by herself at her activity station, playing with her toys. We don't go far, because with one wrong move she might topple over... (which has happened a couple times)
• Loves fruits, carrots, chicken stock mixed with her meals, and feeding herself the crunchy little rice cereal O's (they look like cheerios). She also signs "more" especially for the O's!
• Waves in response to our wave
• Is expressive and curious, and totally engaged in her life every day. It's so fun to see the new things she is doing every week!

PS - I have two posts "in queue" - Callie's standard life's lessons post on her birthday (today is her 3rd!), and my traditional thankful post. But we'll space them each out a day or two :)

The Book on Leadership

Someday I want to write a book - a book about the messiest part of business: the human part. In this book I plan to tell stories and recall some of my most distinct moments over the years, in hopes of helping someone else figure out their own path, both professional and personal. I say both because I don't believe you can simply separate the two- you are who you are (if you're doing it right, at least.)

What I love about my job is the freedom I'm given to think philosophically about deep topics such as what I write about here, and have discussions that give us new insight into the way people work. (What is harder, and the more challenging/frustrating part, is the actual application of these philosophies.) This week I was given the opportunity to experience the culmination of my yearlong HR development program. In this program, I've been lucky to meet and work with about 20 HR professionals in our organization with the goal of exploring leadership together. We discussed leadership - both formal and informal - in the hopes of gaining insight into who we are and who we want to be in our careers. I was lucky to learn from my peers throughout the year, and came away with some awesome thoughts that I never want to forget.

Okay, I also realize that the below ideas sound sort of cheesy, but I encourage you to take them beyond face value. Look harder. Think about them. Stop rolling your eyes. The people we like working with and working for actually put these ideas into action!

1. The importance of vulnerability No one is perfect, and when you pretend to be, no one believes you anyways. The only thing that comes from guarding yourself too closely is a lack of trust from those around you. There is an amazing TED talk by Brene Brown, which you can find here: Brene Brown on Vulnerability A few key nuggets: "The people who have a sense of love and belonging are the people who believe they are worthy of love and belonging." That's half the battle: believe you are worthy! In all of her studies, Brene learned that the people who were most authentic "believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful." How to quit the self-doubt? See #6 below. 
2. Be yourself. Along the same lines , the best way to be you is to be YOU. Brene talks about being whole-hearted - I'd say it's the only way to be. If you try to be something you're not, you'll erode trust of those around you, and you'll try so hard to be consistent in your facade that you'll exhaust yourself. People will see right through you, anyways. 
3. Assume positive intent. I cannot say enough about this one. It is of utmost importance when on the receiving end of imperfect. People will let you down; they will make mistakes, fail, and fall short. Our job is not to point out those shortcomings, failures, mistakes. The way we make others feel has a direct impact on how they will act around us going forward. If something bad/strange/annoying/frustrating happens, there might be more to the story. If we err, we should err on the side of grace over skepticism. Without every bit of information, we create stories in our minds to make conclusions about a situation. Part of this process is simply the pace of the world today. But often these conclusions include judgments that are not true, and we infer things about others that put them in a negative light. How many people get up in the morning hoping they will fail today? Most people are also out there just trying to succeed, connect with others, and feel secure and loved. If that is our first assumption, our outlooks and the way we make others feel will dramatically improve.
4. Model the way. We pretend that what we do doesn't have an effect on people. We can talk about the importance of vulnerability but then remain closed off to others. Or we can say "I sure hate those people who always think they're right," and then point out all the times we were right. We think we have to point out our actions. I remember reading somewhere, "If you have to say you are, you aren't." It's like when people try to say "I'm being a good friend by telling you that (insert bad news here)." The truly good friend doesn't have to point out that they're being a good friend; the way they share the bad news and they way they model compassion for the other person speaks volumes more than if it were pointed out explicitly.
5. Practice authority over power. Power is given by the rulebook; authority is given by those around you. Be the person people want to follow just because, instead of the one people have to follow based on title, politics, motives, coercion, etc. If you have to force it, the effort will be that much harder, every single time.
6. Just do it! (Silence the inner critic) This one is awesome. Of all of these, I struggle a great deal here. I have a fear of failure, and I think that if something doesn't go as planned, the sky (and my career) is falling. Sometimes, I fear action so much that it results in inaction. What if I ask the wrong question? What if I make a stupid comment? What if they don't like me? Instead of swirling through every possible negative "what if?" I'm trying to JUST DO IT. The beauty of this: I will be vulnerable and I will be myself. And (most of the time), it will turn out well, which will help immensely with #7:
7. You can’t love others until you love yourself. We all heard this from our moms when trying to find Mr. Right, but it applies way beyond romantic love. A big part of leadership is love, as described in The Servant, the act of love towards another human being. This does not mean you have to always like the person, but to respect them enough to treat them in the highest possible regard. All of the above will help with loving others, but the first step is making sure you love yourself. How does that happen? Positive self-talk. Actions that lead to success. Learning. Talking to others (when you realize you're really not alone). Practice. Practice. Practice. You have the control here. (More in my other post about Control Theory.)

That's probably enough waxing philosophical for now. At this point, I'm heading into the holiday season super pumped for a bunch of Kennedy's "firsts" !!

Kennedy @ 7 Months

What a happy girl! 7 months is definitely a fun time. I'm writing this a little late, but that's just because we've been having so much FUN! At 7 months, Kennedy:

• Creeps around on the floor, like an army crawl! She can get from one end to the other, using her arms and dragging with her tummy on the floor.
• Sleeps pretty well - takes 2-3 naps a day and wakes usually twice a night to eat, but is in the crib for at least 12 hours at night.
• LOVES reading. Has been more interested in sitting in our laps and reading than in playing with her toys by herself.
• Started saying "da-da"! I read that they don't know what it means yet, but she likes the sound it makes and says it all day. We're hoping the letter "m" is next on her list to tackle. :)
• Loves bananas and carrots the most. She's a good eater, and has also started being able to feed herself small bite-sized food, like the sweet potato puffs and yogurt melts.
• Drinks from her sippy cup (by herself sometimes and with assistance sometimes) and likes taking a sip of water in between every bite
• Still loves her jumperoo and jumps like a crazy girl! She shows a lot of pride in her jumping skills and wears that pride on her face after a good jump session.
• Wears 6-9 month clothes and onesies - right on track!
• Is very independent, curious, expressive, and interested in learning and trying everything. But at the same time, is very sweet and sometimes welcomes being comforted.
• Loves the bath and her rubber duckie
• Loves her pacifier, taking it out, putting it back in, keeping it close by at all times
• Doesn't have any teeth yet. We're wondering when those little buggers might pop through!
• Sits up very well on her own now, and sits in the shopping cart seat when we go to Target now too! She really seems to enjoy that vantage point and looking around at everything while we are shopping.
• Loves music of all kinds. It's been fun pulling out the old Raffi music!