Thankful

I think this year I realized that Thanksgiving is my second favorite holiday.  Or maybe third favorite, but it's actually much higher than I ever give it credit for.  I just LOVE the family time, the low key-ness, the fantastic meal, the games, the coziness, and the start to a lazy four-day weekend.  Even more, I've been reflecting on how thankful I am.  Lots has happened in the surroundings of the Wires family in the past 2 months, including:

• Grandpa Orlo having lung/heart problems and moving to a nursing home permanently
• Grandpa Bill having a heart attack and stroke and moving to a rehab center/nursing home permanently
• Dad falling and cracking his ribs Sunday before Thanksgiving!
• Natalie's boyfriend's dad died yesterday of a sudden heart attack, completely unexpectedly

These things, among others, give us perspective.  The first two are sad, but the grandparents have had amazing lives.  It takes a lot of work for my parents (of which I am thankful) to get them transitioned into their new homes.  They are both in their 80s, have experienced life, love, and families of their own.  They got to witness their grandkids grow into adults.  Then when my dad fell, which normally would have been HUGE, I thought, "Okay, let's just take it easy, this isn't a show stopper."  Then when Natalie had to support her boyfriend's family yesterday, I felt that the Wires family is quite lucky.  Quite thankful, indeed.  In fact, these are some things I am especially thankful for this year:

• Getting through another semester of grad school, and while crazed, enjoying most of it. 1 year left!!!
• Finding peace in my career.  This was a 2010 goal, and I SO have!
• My new little Matthies Family feeling more like a family with the three of us (Callaway included!)
• Jake's blessing in disguise - leaving KinderCare and starting at Crave, and back in school - the next chapter in his life
• My In-Laws, who are fantastic people, individually and as a collective unit. Seriously.
• Build-Your-Own Golf League on Thursdays, with Matt, Trace and Colleen
• Watching Grey's on Thursdays while cooking with Crystal and Signe
• That we are fortunate enough to travel the country and attend 11 weddings in 6 months
• The New 90210
• My first SmartPhone - the Google MyTouch Slide
• Hanging out with my sister, having breakfast, shopping for Halloween costumes, walking the lakes or bike riding
• Sunday night phone calls with my mom (or whatever day of the week they end up being)
• My upcoming monthlong trip to India
• Girls' fondue nights and our upcoming book club (yes, I am excited for this.)
• The impromptuly-fun brunch at Signe's this past Saturday
• Bananagrams!
• The fact that I have found a new creative outlet for writing in this blog, and for all of you who read it!

Enjoy your holiday season - I know I will!

Allison

Life Lessons from Callie's Perspective

 

Hi everyone, it's me, Callie.  I am 1 year old today!  I have learned so much in my first year of life and I thought I would share some of my life lessons with you.  Maybe they'll fit your situation, too.

1. Loyalty is the best policy.  It shouldn't matter what your family does, or what they don't or can't do - you must be there for each other through everything.  That's the point of family.
2. Superficial things don't really matter.  When Jake and Allison wake up in the morning, I give them kisses and show them how excited I am to see them.  This is before any teeth brushing, fancy clothes, or make up.  I love them when they're in sweatpants (especially when I tug at the sweatpants!)
3. That brings me to my next point - when you love people, show them all the time!  Jake and Allison always know how much I love them.  It's never a question.
4. Make time to play.  This is my favorite!  I love undivided attention from Jake or Allison, and sometimes I have to remind them to put down computers, TV remotes, and books so we can focus on the importance of playing together, being silly, and running circles in the house.  
5. Always come home.  I like my sense of adventure, and sometimes I wander and travel and get into danger, but I also have a sense for coming home and knowing it's the best place in the world. (Sometimes I realize it only after they corner me and I have no choice!)
6. People who are sad sometimes just need someone to listen.  They don't always need advice, or need your own similar story told.  When Jake or Allison is sad, I just let them talk it out.  I am also very good at licking all the tears off Allison's face!  I can sense sadness and know what my role should be every time.
7. Life is short.  Cherish every moment together.  Get excited about the little things, so excited you can hardly stand it.  I do!!!

 Love, Callie   

I believe...

There's a section in every Glamour where a notable woman writes 5 things she believes.  They can be anything, big or small, substantial or trivial.  Some women write about politics; others write about lipstick.  I've always wanted to write "my 5", and here they are:


I believe...

• In investing in expensive bedding. You spend a third of your life there, right? (or in my case closer to half)
• That differences in people DO matter... in a really good way.
• That more than half of good ideas are born while washing your hair or trying to fall asleep at night.
• That you should practice a presentation out loud before giving it (in front of the mirror, to your husband, in your car, etc.)
• That when you love people, you should TELL THEM.

What are YOUR 5?

Figure out what you REALLY want to do...

Some people ask why I'm getting an MBA.  For me, it's fairly simple. I. like. school.  I do!  I have always been an academic.  An old friend used to call me "the perfect student."  I strive for good grades, I edit and re-edit my papers, I feel a sigh of relief (and sense of accomplishment) after a presentation or a test.  So why business school?


Well, I've always liked business.  I first realized it back in high school when my Economics teacher, Mr. Puhrmann, taught us the difference between Macroeconomics and Microeconomics by instructing us to sit at our desks, then to STAND ON our desks.  Then to see the difference, we sat down again.  (You guess which is which).


We're all surrounded by them - people who are dragged down by chores, tasks, errands, and other "must-do's".  We get eyerolls at the grocery store, or snappy responses at the dry cleaner.  Sometimes I can be that snappy person - yes, I know!  But then there are people like Mr. Puhrmann, or my college Econ professor, Henry Hays, or our EVP of Property Development at Target.  His name is John Griffith, and he spoke to our department this summer.  He ended his speech with an inspiring moment (which I wasn't really expecting at the time).  The key to happiness - the key to life: FIGURE OUT what it is you really want to do.  This is the hard part.  Figure it out.  Then...


DO IT!


Maybe Nike was right all along.


(This is some great food for thought, and part of the reason I'm getting my MBA - it's helping me in my quest to figure out what I REALLY want to do.  The other part is that truly, I just like being a student.) :)

Temporary Home

                                 "This is my temporary home, 

                                 It's not where I belong

                                 Windows and rooms, 

                                 That I'm passing through

                                 This is just a stop 

                                 On the way to where I'm going 

                                 I'm not afraid because I know 

                                 This is my temporary home."

-Carrie Underwood  

My grandpa had a heart attack last week, followed by a stroke 2 days later.  The heart attack was not bad, but the stroke was pretty massive.  I spent time with him after the heart attack, and he was normal Grandpa.  After the stroke, he was no longer normal Grandpa.  "Normal" per se.  I know he's still in there, working on some of the things we first notice like talking, moving his limbs, smiling.  It's been a bit of a shock but I do feel comforted by a couple things: 

1. Grandpa has lived a good life. He has had many friends, experienced many things, and as I quote The Notebook, he has "loved another with all [his] heart and soul, and that has always been enough." Yes, he loved my grandma in a way that I strive to love Jake for years to come. 
2. The superficial things don't matter.  No, he will probably not return to his home.  He will likely need to move to assisted living of some sort, and will not be able to do many of the daily activities we take for granted.  But he still has heart, and he still loves, and he will until his last breath.
3. I do believe in Heaven, and I do think he will be reunited with my grandma when it's time.  And this will put everything at ease.  He has been sad ever since she died 8 years ago.  Over the past 8 years, she has been his main focus.  His thoughts have always pointed to her.  

It's going to be hard, but we have had some amazing times and I'm so lucky in that respect.  After college, when I lived in Uptown, he picked me up many mornings and drove me downtown for work.  These short morning conversations will always be close to me, as will the way he friended my roommates and Jake.  In this picture he came over for roommate dinner with Becky, Kristi and me.  We had ridiculously spicy chicken tortilla soup, and he spent a lot of time playing with Kristi's dog, Burnsie.  Years before, he let my friend Tai live with him for 6 months while she was student teaching.  She and her now husband started their "mini-dates" at his house!  

It's so great to have memories like this.  And these memories - of a good life lived - are what keep us strong when something limiting happens to a dear loved one.  

And so the next journey begins...

Tonight I was able to meet my group of co-travelers on this year's upcoming study abroad trip to India!  India - this is UNREAL.  I am super pumped about the trip, which is just over 2 short months away.  I am excited for a few reasons:

• I've never been to Asia, and this will be a great way to immerse myself in a new continent
• Traveling for school grants access to many things tourists do not get - such as factory visits, meeting CEO's of companies, government visits, etc.  Plus I get to share a room with a complete stranger for 2 weeks - always a unique experience!
• Really, this will be my first time in this level of third world.  Yes, India is an emerging market.  Yes, there are parts that are quite prosperous.  And yes, I've seen poverty in Peru, Chile, Argentina.  But South America and India are quite different and this will be a new level for me.
• The professor - Mani - is wonderful.  He is Indian and I was able to take a class from him last spring.  I have heard he truly makes the trip worth it!

We spend the first week of January in Delhi (I will be flying over the ball dropping in every time zone from Europe to North America).  Then we will fly to Bangalore for the second week.  I've heard the two are like completely different countries in climate, culture, industry, etc.  I can't wait to see the difference.

Even further, we have a Target office in Bangalore.  I have gotten to know various individuals in the Bangalore office during the last 6 months in my new job, and these people are truly wonderful.  We get to visit Target Bangalore for the school program, and I can't wait to see it in person!

More to come on India, but for now, I just wanted to say that I can't wait for this experience.  Traveling in this capacity has always been amazing to me - from Europe to South America, and now to Asia.  I truly am lucky and extremely grateful for all I am able to do in this lifetime.

My All Time Favorite Songs in the WORLD

Someone recently asked me what has been my favorite song throughout my life.  I honestly don't have one, but I do have a list.  I've been noticing in my head it's a very distinct list:


-Hey Jealousy, Gin Blossoms
-Walkin in Memphis, Marc Cohn
-These Are Days, 10,000 Maniacs
-Mr. Jones, Counting Crows
-All For You, Sister Hazel
-Wicked Game, Chris Isaak


I think that's it!  What's on your list?

Straddling the Threshold

As many of you know, this has been the year of weddings for Jake and me.  In total, I will have attended 11 weddings in 2010.  And that's between the months of May and October!  Yes, that averages out to almost 2 per month.  And with almost half of these weddings being out of town, we've gotten our fair share of flights and hotel rooms this year.  We've visited Portland OR, Kansas City MO, Sonoma CA, Spicer MN, New Richmond WI, and will still go to Northfield at the end of October.  Here are some pics of our journeys and our friends:

So what is it that these weddings all have in common?  They have that moment.  That moment when the officiant says "I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. husband and wife." (or in Sonoma, Mr. and Mr.)  You are now married.  You have it all ahead of you.  A clean slate, a marriage built on trust, love, companionship, passion... now it's YOURS to build.

There's the old tradition of the man carrying the wife over the threshold of their new house after they get married.  The threshold is really that stepping stone, and it can go in one of two directions.  I've seen both.  The couple that sees their life together as brilliant - an opportunity, or the couple that sees a huge burden on other other side.  We've all heard it:  "last night of freedom", "ball and chain", "tied down", "have to check with the wife".  Think about the perspective YOU want to bring to your marriage.  Will you be better together?  Will you still be able to maintain some of yourself as an individual - some uniqueness and independence? (I hope so.)  What does the threshold signify in your life?  How - if you are getting married soon - can you make it something worth doing - NOT the extravagant wedding part, but the lasting marriage part?  Why even get married if it's just the next step in the process, what you're supposed to do?

Lucky for me, the weddings I attended this summer were all absolutely joyous occasions.  Most weddings are.  But I also hope that throughout the stickiest times of the next 60+ years, these people remember their wedding day and what they vowed to one another.  To be there for one another, to trust, to be loyal.  To always find love.  

Jake and I also celebrated our 1 year anniversary this summer.  Some people say the first year is the hardest.  I think we had a blissful year!  The hard times for us are when we have no time - with both of us juggling classes and work, this fall is more difficult.  But I never once have questioned my love for him.  I think the first year is hard if you take the wrong path over the threshold, but if you remember why you did it, what you wanted in the first place, it's going to be a lot easier than you think.

The Inferiority Complex

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt


I recently heard this, and it struck a chord in me.  I also wrote about it in my blog at work, so if you read that, this may be somewhat similar.  I wanted to blog about it at home too.  I spent three days last week in a class called TrainerTalk.  TrainerTalk is supposed to change your mindset about training/presentations, transforming your attitude, techniques and outcomes!  I will say it was inspiring.


This is material that Target has licensed from an external company - Bergerac - and it's supposed to be impactful.  Every time I mentioned I was going to Bergerac, someone would say "Oooooh, have FUN."  Like I was supposed to know what that meant.


It was a fantastic training, and I learned so much during these three days.  I can't even remember it all!  I learned about presenting yourself in an open position, with your arms out at your sides.  Almost like hugging your audience - instead of how we often present with our hands clasped in a fist in front of us.  The fist is a mechanism we use to make ourselves feel smaller, less important, inferior.


I was taped numerous times over the course of the three days, andhad to tell myself, "Allison, just go with it."  We also talked about that awful person who sits perched on our shoulder during challenges - the Inner Critic.  The Inner Critic creates so much unnecessary worry, shame, confusion during a presentation.  We think we look stupid.  We think we are inferior.  We think we can't do it.


Eleanor Roosevelt's quote reminds me of a lot of things I learned at TrainerTalk.  First and foremost, it's up to each of us to silence our own Inner Critic.  We each have a lot to offer.  I realize that when I'm training, sometimes I don't think what I have to say is important.  But it is, or I wouldn't be doing it!  Take the time, open your arms, take a deep breath, face your audience.  YOU can do it.

Weekend Update

Yep, it has been a fantastic weekend.  I didn't have anything planned when it started, but happened to not only have a ton of fun but also accomplished a LOT!  Friday night Jake and I went grocery shopping and got the staples & the ingredients I needed for my recipes.  Saturday I cooked most of the day.  I tried homemade bread (it didn't go GREAT; it didn't rise enough, but here is the link to the recipe I used).  I did make a mean lasagna which was VERY much worth the effort.  And I made Aunt Jane's Strawberry Salad, one of my all time favorites.


Sunday was spent walking around Lake Calhoun with Crystal, and then kayaking with Trace.  Callie even got to join in on the fun. (pics courtesy of Trace)

When I got home, I made another fabulous new recipe: Black Bean Soup  And ended the night with a margarita at Ciento and a couple cocktails at Colleen's house.  Today I'm wrapping some presents and relaxing on the couch.  And reflecting on what made the weekend so great.  These are some things I realized:

1. I sort of like going to bed at a reasonable hour on weekends.  It makes the next morning more bearable.
2. I moderately like getting up before 10am on weekends!  Sunday and Monday I was up around 9am.  It felt productive and by Noon if I needed a break, I didn't feel as guilty about relaxing.
3. I really like our house.  I don't think I spend enough time here, organizing it, cleaning it, decorating it.  I didn't make major changes this weekend, but I did relish in the love I have for my house.
4. I love cooking new recipes!  Even if they don't turn out as planned (read: flaming bread from the broiler).
5. Great plans will happen if you let them.  Don't overplan, it only stresses everyone out. 

Off to do some more FUN things!  Happy Labor Day!


PS Yes, Trace, you were right.