Spring at the Cabin

My computer desktop background is a gorgeous picture I took of Jake's family cabin (The Jaunty Cabin) a couple years ago on the 4th of July.  Here it is:

The first time I visited the cabin I realized it was a special place.  And every time I go back, I realize that the special just hasn't worn off.


This weekend, we had our annual girls' weekend at the cabin.  It was only April 23rd - and we were able to take a pontoon boat ride and enjoy the sunshine.  On Friday it was just my mother-in-law Lisa, her sister Jane, and Jake's cousin Liz.  The four of us settled in for what would be another fabulous weekend at the cabin, while we awaited the other 5 lovely ladies' arrival (including my mom!!!)


Spring at the cabin makes me think of a few things:

1. Sense of renewal.  Everything is fresh, clean, clear.  This weekend I noticed that my head is clear, too.  One awesome thing about Minnesota winters (and yes, there are only a few awesome things), is that the snow melts away all the dirt and the dust from the year before.  The flowers get a new start, the animals get to come out for a new year.  It's refreshing to have that annual cycle and turn over a new leaf.
2. Sense of excitement.  Spring is my favorite for the mere reason that it's all ahead of us.  The heat, the late nights, the weddings and parties - spring represents a sense of what's to come.
3. Peace.  We live in peace.  Really, how many people in the world can say that?  I look out over the quiet lake and feel safe, that my world is calm.  How lucky are we to come to expect peace day after day?
4. Family.  Jake does family differently than I grew up doing family, and to get both of ours in this lifetime is awesome.  I loved sharing Jake's family time with my mom, and I am so excited for the plethora of family times - at the cabin or elsewhere - to come.

The Act of Listening

I can't say I'm always the best listener.  (Just ask Jake.)  I hear a lot of things, a lot of buzz around me, and I can usually recite it back to you.  But that's not listening.  I pride myself on BEING THERE for people when they WANT or NEED me, and gosh, if you have something interesting to say, my interest is piqued and therefore I'm more apt to listen to you.  But day and in and day out, with all the digital/corporate/business/relationship/social noise around me, I'll admit that it's hard for me to listen, to focus on what's being said.  Our minds get tired.  My mind gets tired.  Especially week 3 day 1 of a new job (still awesome, btw!)


Listening is hard!  We all need to slow down in this fast-paced world we live in.  It's what stopping to smell the roses is all about: getting lost in the details of the ones we love, our culture, the world around us.  Some people are really good listeners - and it's really quite an art, don't you think?  


I think back to when I was a child and my parents would invite over a large group of friends.  I always had a few personal favorites - and when I think about it now, I realize there was a common denominator amongst them.  They each paid close attention to me, they listened to me.  I remember one night pulling each of my junky toys out of my junk toy drawer, one by one, to show my dad's friend Abe.  He was so enthralled in what I had to share with him and he was completely focused on me.  My parents' friends who talked a lot and told stories of themselves didn't impress me.  No - it was the friends who showed compassion in what I had to share - and it felt good to get their undivided attention.  And not just at age four - I don't think the desire for attention ever goes away!  We want someone to hear our story.  We want to connect.  And how can you connect without listening?  


So I'm trying to get better at really listening.  Not just hearing, but really listening.


It's a great tactic in business, too.  I'm finding more and more that it's not enough to listen to your friends & allies - the people who care about you - but also your people you disagree with!  Not that I have tons of enemies, but to gain credibility by listening to people who don't have a reason to care about me - that's power.  


So that's a great goal for 2010.  Maybe I'll improve a bit.  I'm sure I'll notice some new things along the way.  Right now, I'm going to find out more about Jake's day - and really listen.  It might freak him out and he might raise an eyebrow, but it'll be great practice!

New Beginnings

I have to say, I am somewhat of a know-it-all.  I'll admit it.  I love to be the expert, the teacher, the one who can help others understand.  I feel insecure when I am out of my element knowledge-wise.  It's a curse - believe me, I'm not bragging.  


Last week, I was DEFINITELY not a know-it-all.  I was more a don't-know-anything.  I started my new job specifically because I was ready for a big blast of challenge at work.  Well, I got that blast, and then some!  I had become the go-to person for so many things in my old role, and while that was fun while it lasted, I was no longer inspired by my work.  


Now I am experiencing something very important - complete humility.  I have been sitting in meetings, my head spinning, writing down phrases, acronyms, titles, names, that I will later go back and research when I find the time.  (Thank goodness for Target Wiki!)  I have blocked research/learning time on my calendar - the good part is that I am working on THE team at Target that promotes learning.  I am encouraged to take time to learn as much as I can!  Even more important than writing down phrases is partaking in active learning.  Read: asking questions.  Asking questions is sometimes hard for me, partially because I don't want to be judged for the questions I ask.  But in this new role, I am making questions a priority because I find that the people who are brave enough to admit what they don't know (1) learn it quickly; and (2) seem smart and insightful by the questions they pose.  Chances are, someone else has the same question.  And perhaps they'll silently thank me for asking it, and make it their own personal goal to ask it next time.


People have been asking me how the job is going.  My best answer - I feel ALIVE again.  I feel challenged, inspired, engaged, and there is a huge world out there for me to learn.  I do love knowing, but I also love the learning process.  It's what I'm hanging onto in these first weeks and months while things are still foggy.  Soon enough I'll find some clarity, be able to teach others, help others understand, and add to my internal knowledge library along the way.  It's going to be a BLAST!

A Balancing Act

I moved to Chile in February 2003 for a six-month study abroad program.  Two days before leaving, I was diagnosed with mono.  I remember coming home from my goodbye visit to GAC to tell my parents that yes - I had the kissing disease.  And yes - I was going on a 14 hour flight to a new country with mono, which can wear some people out for weeks to months.  


My program director told me to take it easy during orientation, so I did, and luckily, I had the shortest and mildest bout of mono I've ever heard of.  Could I have panicked and delayed my trip?  Yes. Could I have expected the worst? Of course.  Part of my life mantra is to expect the best - and I don't just mean expect it, but BELIEVE that it will actually happen.  There is a whole series called "The Secret" which my mother-in-law introduced me to - it talks about the laws of attraction and how positive thinking attracts positive results.  (The Secret might have to be its own blog post one day).


Today I'm focusing on the fact that life happens and we have to balance what comes at us.  BUT, if we ever find that we are off balance, or aren't balancing the right things, we become complacent, stagnant, uninspired.


Right now my life is arguably the craziest it's ever been.  New marriage, new pet, three grad school classes, and I'm starting a new job tomorrow morning.  What?!  Time for myself??  Hardly. This year I had to give up on American Idol and America's Next Top Model altogether.  But the things I am doing are MUCH more inspiring than reality television.


I was nervous to start the part-time MBA program while working full time.  I didn't think I would have time to myself.  However, balancing acts require you to be more creative with your time.  Time becomes more of a commodity, more valuable.  Balancing acts require you to prioritize, focus on the things that really matter during the little free time you have.  And accomplishments - like the final I'm going to take on Wednesday, or the promotion I got - they make the craziness all worth it.  


Some days I have to tell myself to breathe, but really, if I didn't do these things, I would be wasting life.  Don't get me wrong, I can relax with the best of them, but I also value the things that keep me busy.  Glamour's editor-in-chief, Cindi Leive, once wrote about her early days as a staffer.  She would sleep four hours a night, putting in 12 hour days at the office and going out with friends and coworkers every night.  She said that life is too short to be sleeping.  While I have to disagree that sleep is a waste of time (!), I do agree that we don't always focus our time where we want to, and we hesitate to take on challenges, interests, and hobbies.  Though I'll one day be extremely thrilled to graduate, I'm sure at that point I'll take on other interests, such as community ed oil painting, Italian cooking, golf lessons, or heck, maybe have children!  These things fulfill our lives and make us excited to get up in the morning.  I've spent plenty of time worrying about not having enough time to get it all done, but in reality, it will all get done, and I will be excited by the result.  As I head into my first day tomorrow with the serious beginnings of a head cold, I realize that's just part of the package, and I'll be fine, and I'll focus on the good parts and love every minute along the way.

Goodbye, Familiarity...

I leave my job in Global Trade Services (GTS) on Friday.  That means I leave the place I've worked for the past 6 years.  6 years - that's the longest I've done anything in my life!  When I started as an Imports EIT after college graduation, I never dreamt the journey in GTS would be this long, and this fulfilling.  I have learned so much and met so many great people along the way.  A lot of those people have since moved on, and now, it's my time to move on.


People ask me how I'm feeling - I'm excited, but scared.  Scared because I do like familiarity.  I like when people know me.  I don't mean just know me, but really know me.  There's a difference.  As much as I like to pretend I'm fearless, I'm really not.


Things I am going to remember as I leave this world of GTS, and head out to another area of Target:

• Yes, I'm still at Target!  We are one big company.  We have one culture and vision, so leaving GTS does not mean leaving all things familiar.
• Take time to myself.  I will always be familiar with myself, so when I feel overwhelmed, spend time reflecting on the things I learned, the people I met, and how they fit into the little world of Allison.
• Don't be too hard on myself.  Ask questions!  No question is a stupid one.  I have to remind myself of that all the time.
• Don't forget the people who have helped shape who I am so far.  They are still there for me, I can lean on them, and they will continue to shape me going forward.
• Be myself.  Being myself has gotten me through 27 years successfully - I have the tools and personality to make the next stage happen, too.
• Smile, a lot.  First impressions matter a lot.  I can't say I'm a master at first impressions, more at lasting impressions.  So limp along through the first impression, make it decent, smile, be myself, and the lasting impression will come naturally. !!!

Okay big world, here we come.  There's no time like the present.

The ABC's of Allison

This was not an original idea, but something I am totally copying from Jake's cousin Katie.  Who, by the way, I absolutely LOVE! (xoxo Katie with hot pink sparkly hearts)

A is for Altima, specifically I drive a black one.

B is for the bullseye, because I bleed Target red.

C is for Callaway, the second love of my life and also my favorite hobby.

D is for Downtown Minneapolis, where I start my new job in one week.

E is for Español, the other language I speak.

F is for Fantasy Football, because I am extremely competitive.

G is for Gustavus, my first home away from home.

H is for Heat, because I would rather it be 100 degrees than below freezing.

I is for In-laws, because mine are AMAZING!!!

J is for Jacob, the love of my life.

K is for Keith Urban, the celebrity love of my life.

L is for Lists, because I make a lot of them to stay organized.

M is for Mom, because I want to be one someday.

N is for Natalie, my baby sister who is my best friend.

O is for OPI, my favorite brand of nail polish.

P is for Passion, something I cannot live without.

Q is for Quiet, something I am NOT.

R is for Red, which is the color of passion.  And R is for romance.

S is for Sunsets over the ocean.  Ridiculously romantic.

T is for Tulips, my favorite flower.

U is for Unique, because uniqueness fosters pride.

V is for Variety, because I get bored easily.

W is for the World Wide Web.  Something I cannot live without.

X is for Xylophone, the instrument my Target best friend Trace played in high school (well, sort of).

Y is for Yes We Can, because I <3 Obama.

Z is for zzzzzz because I LOVE sleeping.

The Power of Music

I used to make mixed tapes.  I remember receiving a mixed tape from a boy in 6th grade with songs like Shoop, Rump Shaker, Jump, Runaway Train, and I Would Do Anything for Love.  (6th grade - what did WE know about music then?  Rump Shaker? Apparently not much!)  Then when things went digital, I was able to make mixed CD's.  I've probably created over a hundred mixed CD's and gave them creative titles like "Random Good Songs", "Passion", "Country-ish", and "Chile Chill".  Now with iTunes, we can capture any sort of feeling we want to by creating playlists, and we are no longer limited to 80 minutes!  The iPod has changed the way we listen to music.  Instead of waiting for our favorite song to come on the radio, when we used to run over to the tape player and quickly press "record" to capture as much of the song as we could, music is on demand.  It took me less than three seconds to locate each of the above songs from 6th grade on YouTube.


Because virtually every song is now at our fingertips, I am noticing that we don't take the time to appreciate songs like we used to.  People mention a song and we pull out our iPhones or Palms and simply locate it on the iTunes store.  I know I'm guilty of listening to the first 30 seconds of the song and then skipping to the next one because I simply don't have time.  And with music lovers purchasing their favorite singles on iTunes instead of buying the entire album, we miss out on the story the artist is trying to tell from beginning to end, the essence of the album.


A good friend and I were talking recently about how we never just listen to music anymore.  Truly just listen, rock out by ourselves, while doing nothing else.  In college, I'd spend hours in my dorm room listening to music while cleaning my room, talking with friends, flipping through magazines.  Now the TV is always going and I'm running off to my next activity.  That other stuff is just "busy noise" that gets in the way.  Music can show us the way, teach us how to feel or what to believe.  It can bring us back to that first kiss, that first dance, that first road trip with a best friend.  Music has a way of bringing us back to an exact memory, reminding us of what we loved or hated about a particular situation.  And I simply don't take enough time to listen to it anymore, truly listen.


I recently started a playlist called "Oh the Nostalgia".  And that's exactly what it is, a list of songs that bring me back to a certain feeling, a certain time in my life.  It's a great way to capture memories in a way that photos, stories, or words can't even do.


My Nostalgia playlist includes songs like Ben Harper's "Forever", Springsteen's "Born to Run", and Spin Doctors' "Two Princes".  What's on your Nostalgia playlist?  I urge you to try to define it.  This year, I vow to spend more time just sitting, doing nothing but reveling in the joy of listening to good music.

Love and Marriage

Last Monday we watched as Jason Mesnick married Molly Malaney (yes, we, Jake and me!) on ABC in rainy California.  Jason and Molly  We even got to see Jason Castro sing Somewhere Over the Rainbow.  What a sweet song for Molly, or any bride, to hear while walking down the aisle!  It's a fairy-tale, and yes, I still believe in fairy-tales.


As I think about Jason and Molly (and while I don't know them, I think they're gonna do just fine), I also think about Jake's and my 7-month old marriage.  7 months today!  Every month we each say our current favorite thing about marriage.  The first couple months, Jake's answer was wearing his wedding ring.  Today, his answer was getting to be with someone who completely understands him.  My favorite thing today is that he knows what I'm thinking without me even saying it.  I have a great example:  last week we went to a prom party, and I had been thinking that we should have ordered corsages.  I never said anything about them, just had a couple thoughts in my head that they would be fun.  On Friday night, Jake showed up from work with a corsage made just for me to match my purple dress!  He knows what I want without me even saying a word.


Marriage - for some - is a really scary decision.  I think people are scared to commit.  For me, it just felt right.  Not necessarily the commitment part, but the Jake part.  We are complete opposites in so many ways, which is obvious to anyone who knows us.  But that's why we work - we keep each other challenged and thinking about the world in a new way.  I mean really - does this LOOK like something I would think was okay at a social function??

(My favorite thing the first couple months was that marriage feels like a sleepover every night.  Not hard to imagine with this fun-loving guy).


I love love.  It's true - the idea of it, the concept of being so enthralled in another person is something that my idealistic mind cannot get enough of.  I am a sucker for Dawson's Creek and The Notebook, and when Meredith created the house of candles for Derek, I sobbed like a baby.  Roll your eyes - go ahead!  True love is too scarce to ridicule it.  Try me.  


Anna Quindlen wrote a quote in Newsweek that I still hang onto.  She was referring to gay marriage, and I think she is spot on, but I'm not about to get all preachy - I just want you to read this quote and think about the loving relationships you sometimes roll your eyes at, or find fault in.  


"Here's what I don't understand: Is there so much love and commitment in the world that we can afford, as a society, to be contemptuous of some part of it?"


In a world where people hate one another, start fist fights in school, are at war in the Middle East, and call bomb threats in to school, we have GOT to hang onto love.  We have to recognize our loving role models (my parents, Jake's parents), and be happy for those who truly love one another.  Who in your life displays that kind of love?  I think maybe John Lennon was right.

The Value of a Pet

March 7: Today we take our puppy to school.  What kind of student is she going to be?  Will she resemble know-it-all, front-row-sitter, first-to-answer-questions Allison, or will she be more like funny, goof-off-joke-maker, really-smart-but-doesn't-always-apply-it Jake?  Maybe a combination would be best.  

A couple months ago, I wouldn't have even been thinking about these things.  I didn't understand the joy I would feel when we finally brought her home, welcomed her into our family, made her ours.  A couple years ago, Kristi moved her Yorkie, Burnsie, into my home, which warmed me up to having a dog in the house.  He did more than warm me up; he made me want my own.  But he was still Kristi's dog, and while he is amazing, he was not MINE.  

Having grown up with only a small chameleon I'd named Caymen, I'd had little to no experience with pets.  Jake had bunnies growing up, but never a dog or a cat.  I still give credit to my friend Cassie's dog, Lexie, a small chihuahua, for giving me the first glimpse into the value of a pet.  When we were playing games at their house a couple years ago, Lexie climbed onto my lap and fell asleep.  I pet her for awhile and felt this connection I had never felt before.  I realized that I was not only providing her something - comfort, warmth, human touch - but she was providing me with a great deal in return - love and compassion.  

Now with Callaway, I can't even explain it.  The love she has for me is unreal, and it really goes both ways.  She is so kind and caring, and always happy to see me, no matter the circumstance.  It's unconditional.  It has been so cool to see her gel with both Jake and me, and it's happened so quickly.  She hadn't even come home 6 weeks ago!  Each day we come in the door, she knows our voices and shows that she can't wait to spend time with us.  It's the perfect start to our little family.

Before we brought her home, Jake cringed when people referred to her as our "baby", saying, "She is a pet; I am an owner, not a parent."  It's cool to see how she's found her place in our family - and no, we're not crazy in pretending she's human, but she's definitely part of our family.

March 9: By now, 2 days after class, she's already mastered her three tricks for the week!  She runs from anywhere to the sound of her name and touches her nose to my hand; she locks eyes with me when I say "Watch me", and just tonight, she mastered the hand signal for "sit".  What do they put in those treats, heroin?!  Best student in class?  I think so.  Ready for week 2?  Definitely.

Word Alert

"There's an app for that." App. Who ever used to know what that meant?  Now it's a part of our common language - meaning Smartphone application. Throughout this blog you're going to get some insight into the crazy things I think about while driving, cooking, or lying in bed at night. Brace yourself. As an avid Scrabble player, one of the most random thoughts I repeatedly have is related to words.  I think about the words we use and how they shift to and from the popular lunch table.  Yes, I just said that.  I think about how words that one day might have "felt" unpopular - cell, web, dot, googol, tweet (?!) are now sitting at the head of the cool lunch table.  Cell used to primarily be used in Biology class or jail.  Man, has it moved up in the world! Communication! These words are making other traditionally common words - tape, phone, mail, fax, video - "feel" neglected.   Wait - do words have feelings? Nevermind. 

Even the letter 'i' gets more play these days.  iPhone, iPod, iTunes, iHome, iGroove, iLife.  Who could ever predict that little letter i would someday feel as important as capital letter I?  The little i thanks you, Apple.


I checked online for the top words of the 2000s.  I found an informal report that listed the following: bailout, derivative, Y2K, H1N1, sustainable, and tsunami.  So obviously these are more related to current events, but they tell a different story than the most popular words/phrases of the 1970s: hot pants, bellbottoms, lava lamps, Watergate, Saigon, Nixon, Bicentennial.  Man, the word "lava" has become almost obsolete!  Except when honeymooning in Hawaii.  My father-in-law Pete told me that the following things didn't exist 60 years ago: television, Xerox, Frisbee, or the pill.  These words didn't mean anything at that time!  Sidenote: He wasn't alive then, he was just helping me with my blog post.


Why does any of this matter?  Words define us.  They define our culture, our focus.  We all have our individual language (those who know me well know that mine includes "silly", "seriously", "passion", "love", "nostalgia", and "emotion").  What does your language say about you?  What words define you?  What words do you predict will be at the cool table in another decade?  Help me, people, I need to start preparing for Scrabble in 2020.