Ozarks Part III

So a month and a half after our trip to Arkansas, I am going to write the final blog.  Mostly it's going to be the final journal entries from our trip, but I do want to comment on a couple things I've thought about during and since the trip.

1. One of my favorite parts of vacation is the series of inside jokes that are created and carried throughout the length of the vacation.  This journal entry lists out these silly memories, which in a year won't mean anything to us.  But there's something magical about vacation inside jokes that seem so fabulous at the time.  They, in a lot of ways, make the vacation memorable.  I look forward to future vacations where this happens, specifically Becky's bachelorette party in Vegas and Crystal and Matt's wedding in Mexico.  It's even more fun with a group of friends.
2. In Arkansas, I was able to chill out, relax.  I did a lot of relaxing.  I find myself lately feeling bored or antsy at home at night when I don't have much going on.  I think about all the things I should be doing or could be doing.  This is part of the reason I so desperately want to get to the cabin over Labor Day weekend!  But in reality, I should be able to relax at home the way I did in Arkansas, the way I do at the cabin. I should be able to put away my electronics, turn off the TV, and find things to do.  I am going to make it a goal to find peace in my own house.  My friend Crystal had a recent goal related to cooking new recipes - I think mine just needs to be finding new hobbies around my house that create that same sense of peace that I find on vacation.

Okay, enjoy these!  Then, onto the next subject.  What's it going to be?

On This Day...

"On this day, I marry my friend -
- the one that I laugh with, live for, dream with, and love."

THIS was a special day. 08.15.09.  Somehow through all the stress, the people, the agendas and task lists, we were able to find calm.  Truly a calm before the storm.

Because it sure stormed that night!  But MAN was it fun.  It was truly the perfect day to kick off our lifetime of happiness.  Happy 1-year anniversary, Jacob!  I love you.

Ozarks Trip: Part II

This is the second of the three part blog entry highlight our trip to the Ozarks.  Here you get to find out more about Eureka Springs, golf in Arkansas and contour line drawings.  That last one was inspired by our upcoming game of Pictionary, where sometimes the rule called for the drawer to refrain from picking up the pencil during the entire drawing.  Trace thought about a form of drawing called contour line drawing and did one of me - where it's not super exact, but the artist looks at the subject and does not pick up the paper.  So that squiggly drawing is me. :)  These are the fun conversations and things that happen more likely on vacation with friends than during the daily grind.  Ah, how I love an escape from the daily grind!

Ozarks Trip - Part I

4th of July is always my favorite holiday.  It is seriously so much fun to celebrate mid-summer.  It's always beautiful, relaxed, with few expectations.  I think this year we had more expectations than usual because we were taking a weeklong road trip to the Ozark Mountains, staying in a house we rented on Bull Shoals Lake.  We traveled with four friends - Trace & Ryan, Mike & Ali.  Trace is from Arkansas so he wanted to visit home, and the rest of us wanted to check out a part of the country we hadn't seen before.

We got to our cabin after a good 20 minutes on winding dirt roads in the middle of nowhere, and it was beautiful.  Our cabin was named Lakeside Hermitage.  It was quaint and wooden and cute.  I absolutely loved it.

So the first day we got there - after 12 hours of overnight driving - they found a leather journal for guests to write in.  I was immediately told that I was assigned to the task of writing in the journal on behalf of our group.  I'm pretty sure my friends meant that I should write an entry before we left.  Of course I took job seriously and took it to the extreme.  I wrote 6 pages on various days throughout the week!  Trace had the idea of taking pictures of the pages so I could share them in my blog.  So I'm going to share them with you - with commentary - over the next three entries.

(The first part of this page was Jake's one entry.  I know it doesn't make much sense - just remember that when traveling with a group of friends, there tend to be a LOT of inside jokes).

I do think that through reading these, you'll get a sense for our week and what went on, and how we were feeling throughout the week (or at least how I was feeling!)  Enjoy!

PS - If you can't read it, click on the image and it will enlarge on your screen.

That Feeling

I'm reading A Million Little Pieces right now and am completely enthralled in it.  Sometimes it takes me awhile to get into a book, but once I do, I can't put it down! (Same goes for a TV show, movie, song... it just takes time).  Oh and in case you're wondering, yes - James Frey deceived people about his "memoir", so it's not all true, but I really don't mind. It's well written and a really good story. 


There is a page I'm reading now where the author has let himself feel things he hasn't for a long time.  And I quote: "Something else comes and it makes me feel weak and scared and fragile and I don't want to be hurt and this feeling is the feeling I have when I know I can be hurt and hurt deeper and more terribly than anything physical and I always fight it and control it and stop it but her voice calms me and her arms warm me and her smell lightens me and I can feel her heart beat and if she let me go right now I would fall and the need and confusion and fear and regret and horror and shame and weakness and fragility are exposed to the soft strength of her open arms and her simple word okay and I start to cry. I start to cry. I start to cry."


James Frey isn't very good at using periods.  He has a LOT of run on sentences.


Anyways, this page made my heart race.  It's all about being vulnerable.  It's that feeling we get (whether romantic or not) when we open ourselves to another human being and let them in.  It's when we let our guard down and show someone something inside us that scares us, hurts, or makes us feel ashamed.  And gosh, sometimes that feels SO good.  I admit it, I'm a crier.  I'm a total crier!  People say I'm sensitive, and yes, I am, but it also takes a lot of guts and strength to face emotion head on and let out the tears.  


I guarantee if you haven't cried in awhile and you let yourself fall, expose yourself to another human being, it will be the greatest high you've experienced in a long time.  The few hours after a good cry for some reason bring an immensely good feeling.  Yes, you'll also feel like you have a feeling where you could be hurt deeper and more terribly than anything physical, but isn't it worth the risk?  Isn't the high from human interaction worth the risk of vulnerability?  

Being 27...

...was fun.  A LOT happened!!!  Here's a brief recap of the highlights:

• I plugged my way through a LOT of grad school.  We're talking 19 credits!  This included classes like Financial Accounting, Operations Management, International Strategy, Leadership Development, Ethics, Information Technology, Financial Management and Managing the Strategy Process.  WOW - the breadth and depth of knowledge I'm getting at Carlson is impressive.  The coming year will prove to be just as jam-packed (22 credits), but then I'll be on the home stretch!
• We got MARRIED!  This was for sure a highlight.  Not only were all wedding-related events memorable and fun, but the joy of being married to Jake for 11 months (!) has been even better than anticipated.  I love being Team Matthies.
• We got a puppy.  This coming from the girl who wasn't really interested in dogs for most of her life.  Callie has been a great addition to the Matthies family - and she has taught us a lot about caring for another living being.  The three of us are a force to be reckoned with!
• I visited my 28th and 29th states.  Those states are Hawaii and Arkansas.  Two very different experiences, but both equally important!  I have a new goal to hit all 50 states by a reasonable age, and I only have 21 left!  More than half of those are in the Northeast corner of the country - places like Maine, Vermont, New Jersey, New Hampshire, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Rhode Island - these can all be tackled in one trip, right?
• I got a new job.  Like not just a new job in Global Trade - a totally new job where I am challenged, stretched, inspired... I'm learning something every single day and meeting new people all the time.  I like who I am in my new role and the skills I have to use and practice.  I like how the people around me and the role itself force me into territory to work on things like asking the right questions and digging deeper into root causes.  I REALLY like my job!

28 will be a fun year.  I can already tell!  I will visit a new continent/country (India!), my 30th state (Nevada), travel to Mexico for a wedding, be a bridesmaid in two other weddings, hopefully be down to 1 semester left in grad school, and keep honing skills in my job.  I'm looking forward to the wild ride!

Nights Like This

Nights like this are what I live for.  I've always been a night person - and over the past couple weeks, I've had a lotta nights to live for.  Tonight was silly.  I had golf league with Colleen, Trace and Matt, and we were punchy!  We could barely focus on the game.  We were jumping around the course, making jokes, enjoying the bug-free, warm, Minnesota weather.  They brought me some birthday garb - it was ridiculous but fun.  Check it out!


Last night - my actual birthday night - was even more special.  It was also more planned out, and both types of nights have their merit.  My fam and Jake's fam - our fam - they were all here for a low key BBQ.  I felt so loved and so happy!


Something about evening, dusk, sunsets, darkness - it's so peaceful and calm and gives me time to reflect on the great day, the great week, the fantastic month I'm having.  Some people choose mornings, but for me, nights are where it's at.


I remember so many nights in my teenage years when I'd be driving home from friends' houses (yes, on Manning) just listening to music and staring at the stars.  I remember laying blankets out in Pioneer Park or sitting by a campfire taking in the scene around me.


Last week we got some of this too.  In the Ozarks, we had campfires, went nightswimming, played games, and sat out on the deck.  My absolute favorite night happened organically - we went out to the deck and ended up chilling, listening to rock music, and drank wine until the wee hours.  It was unreal!  Even during the week, my favorite time of the day is the last hour before bed.  We settle in, Jake reads in bed, I usually browse the internet or get some reading done myself, and all is good.  We reflect on the day.  If it was a good day, I reflect what made it good.  If it was a bad day, I know it's behind me, and tomorrow we will start anew.

Be patient...

Hi all! I know you've been checking back and disappointed to find nothing by way of new posts. Back from vacation, theres a lot in the works! Check back soon and thank you for your interest in my words! Xoxo, Allison

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The Importance of Family... and Unconditionality

This past month, the weekends have been TO.DIE.FOR.  I emphasize that because I've gotten to spend a lot of time thinking about family and about unconditional love.  


I'm lucky to have such great family on both Jake's and my side, as well as family who isn't related by blood, but the kind of friends we call family.  Between the Wires, the Matthies, the Hovlands, the Jauntys, the Family Breakfast Table, select Ponies, past housemates, mi familia chilena, and even some Target family, I'm a lucky gal.  What is it about family that keeps us coming back for more?  


One thing that I've found important to me in relationships is unconditionality.  I'm often defensive to feedback at work - negative, critical feedback, and I've come to realize it's because it makes me feel like the relationship is conditional.  It makes me feel like I have to prove myself and even once I have, keep proving myself, because the respect and high praise might be gone in an instant.  It makes me believe that a squabble might damage a relationship or make the other person think less of me.  It makes me think that things might not always be this good between us.  


But with family... now that's a different story.  I can be free, I can wear silly clothes, dance around like a maniac, sing (or attempt to) at the top of my lungs in the car, even go without eye make up, and they love me.  We can disagree and it makes us stronger.  I can hurt them and sincerely apologize and we grow from it.  It's not gone in an instant.  These are the relationships that feed us.  They make us whole.  They make us better people.  


I always say that to reach my inner circle - you have to first see me cry.  I'm not talking tears at a sad movie, I'm talking cry because something emotionally hit me.  It's true, and I think the relationship is stronger because I finally let my guard down and put it to the test of unconditionality.  If you've seen me cry, and you come back for more, it's worth fostering a lasting relationship.  Silly?  Maybe.  But for some reason I crave those bonds.


Genuine, authentic.  These are words I hope others use to describe me.  I will forever strive to be these things.  I think this world has a whole lotta superficial going around.  And it's not all that appealing to me.  Think about it for a minute - what quality strikes you as THIS important - the way I view unconditionality?  Who fulfills those roles in your life?  I'm hopeful you can answer that - I think the answer helps you understand what you stand for and what makes you whole.


PS - Callaway models unconditionality.  If you need to understand what I'm talking about, observe your favorite furry friend.  It's impressive!

3900 Saturdays

My next completely free weekend is August 28 (shhh, don't tell ANYONE).  I am someone who tries to attend every party, celebration, shower, get together, to be actively involved in my family and friends' lives, and give my full attention - to EVERYTHING.  And right now, I'm noticing it's a little much.


A few weeks after I started my new job, my new VP sent the following story to the entire team.  I'm not going to write much more now, because I think the story illustrates what I'm trying to get at.  Both my sister and my father-in-law, Pete, model this fairly well.  I need to get better (especially during the summer!)  I mean, I probably have only 2,500 left.


Oh and it doesn't have to be Saturday morning, either.  My favorite thing to do on a Saturday morning is sleep until I wake up on my own - not to the alarm clock!  I'd have to say my version of a countdown is more likely Friday night.  They should be peaceful, relaxing, and doing exactly what I want to do.  How do I get there?  More on that later.


Enjoy the story!

3900 Saturdays

The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday mornings.  Perhaps it's the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, or maybe it's the unbounded joy of not having to be at work.  Either way, the first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable.

A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the garage with a cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other.  What began as a typical Saturday morning turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time.

Let me tell you about it.

I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the band on my ham radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap net.  Along the way, I came across an older sounding chap, with a tremendous signal and a golden voice.  You know the kind; he sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business  He was telling whomever he was talking with something about "a thousand marbles."  I was intrigued and stopped to listen to what he had to say.

"Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you're busy with your job.  I'm sure they pay you well but it's a shame you have to be away from home and your family so much.  Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet.  It's too bad you missed your daughter's dance recital" he continued.  "Let me tell you something that has helped me keep my own priorities."  And that's when he began to explain his theory of a "thousand marbles."

"You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic.  The average person lives about seventy-five years.  I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years."

"Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3900, which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime.  Now, stick with me, Tom, I'm getting to the important part.  It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail", he went on, "and by that time I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays.  I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy.  So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had.  I ended up having to visit three toy stores to round up 1000 marbles.  I took them home and put them inside a large, clear plastic container right here in the shack next to my gear."

"Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and thrown it away.  I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life."

"There is nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities straight."

"Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign-off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast.  This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container.  I figure that if I make it until next Saturday then I have been given a little extra time.  And the one thing we can all use is a little more time."

"It was nice to meet you Tom, I hope you spend more time with your family, and I hope to meet you again here on the band.  This is a 75 Year old Man, K9NZQ, clear and going QRT, good morning!"

You could have heard a pin drop on the band when this fellow signed off.  I guess he gave us all a lot to think about.  I had planned to work on the antenna that morning, and then I was going to meet up with a few hams to work on the next club newsletter.

Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss.  "C'mon honey, I'm taking you and the kids to breakfast."  "What brought this on?" she asked with a smile."  "Oh, nothing special, it's just been a long time since we spent a Saturday together with the kids.  And hey, can we stop at a toy store while we're out?  I need to buy some marbles."