I just wanted to share this - it was the eulogy I gave at Grandpa's funeral last week. I felt it went really well, but it also shows how many things remind me of him. I miss him so much and think of him daily, especially now that I am home from India and everything around me is somehow related to a special memory with Grandpa. He would be PROUD to be in my blog, on the Internet, for others to read. He was proud to share his life with others. Grandpa, I love you.
I know many of you are very sad at the loss of my Grandpa Bill, and I am too, but know that he is reunited with my Grandma, the true love of his life. The thought of their reunion gives me so much peace – to know that he is truly happy. As I said in my speech at their 50th wedding anniversary, “When I grow up and get married I don’t know much but I do know that if I can find half the love and joy that grandma and grandpa have found in each other, I’ll be doing really well.”
When I was just a toddler, Grandpa took me to Perkins. At the end of the meal, I got to pick a toy out of the wishing well. I was not more than 2 years old, and we had already started our first tradition.
Over the next couple years, Grandpa and I would go out to dinner regularly, and it was always something I looked forward to - Grandpa and Allison’s night out. When my sister Natalie was old enough, she started to join us. We would go out to eat, then we would go to a gas station and each get to pick out a small toy (since not every restaurant has a wishing well!) I remember one time picking a slinky, another time silly putty – I cherished these small items from Grandpa for a long time.
As most of you probably know, traditions always started small and grew in a BIG way. From reading your guest book comments and cards, it’s clear that Grandpa shared traditions, quirks, and memories with each of you. I also know that it would make him so happy that you hold these close to your heart.
One tradition stuck very strongly in my head and I will always remember it. Perkins outings eventually grew to be a four person outing – Grandma, Grandpa, Natalie and me. We were a distinguished foursome – we really had something special together. Not just as grandparents and grandkids, but as true friends. We’d have sleepovers in the summer, Christmastime outings to see live animals and attend musical concerts. And each time he saw us, he’d give Natalie and me each a treat bag. Some of you may have heard about treat bags – some of you may have received them yourselves. Ours always included candy, sometimes a toy, and $1.41 – a dollar bill, quarter, dime, nickel, and penny. As we got older we started getting $6.41 – when he decided it was time to up the ante and include a $5 bill!
Today, I’ve prepared a treat bag to share with Grandpa and with all of you, to represent some of our fun traditions, his kindhearted personality, his large social circle, and the things that I know mattered most to him.
Obviously this treat bag starts out with a [Byerly’s Bag], the place where grandpa enjoyed so many great times with true friends. I can’t even guess how many of these he’s handled over the years. He’d tell me about Saturday morning grocery shopping with his friend Megan, about the best boss in the world – Carrie – and the inside jokes and games during the work day. He would also tell me about his favorite shoppers, their kids, their stories. He built genuine connections with so many people.
Of course within Byerly’s is a place called [Caribou], where Grandpa spent time every morning. Many years ago, even before working at Byerly’s, Caribou was a staple tradition. And for more than a year, when I lived in Uptown and worked downtown, Grandpa would pick me up and drive me to work, and always bring me a Caribou drink. He’d ask what I wanted, and was always amused by my choice. His favorite was the Cold Press. Our regular commutes to my office were such special memories.
Rewind a bit further and I remember Grandpa getting up before dawn every day to start his paper delivery route for the [Star Tribune], where he worked for 20+ years. Also Star Tribune related – he’d peruse the sports sections and other local news, and cut out articles that might be of interest to me. He was always making connections. If he’d meet a Gustie or Target employee at Byerly’s, we’d play “Do you know this person?” next time we talked. He got such a kick out of the connections we’d make, and he would never forget their names!
Grandpa was a sharp dresser. He’d check with me often to see if his hat coordinated well with his outfit. I know some of you have even grown a special affinity for argyle. Of course Grandpa was never prouder than to wear something that showed off his loved ones. And he loved neckties – he had hundreds! So when Natalie gave him this [Eau Claire necktie] it was the perfect fit.
Of course Grandpa loved sports. I mean LOVED them – he was a total fanatic! When I started as a freshman at Gustavus, he immediately became interested in every team. Men’s tennis, women’s tennis, men’s golf, women’s golf, baseball, football, hockey! And when my friend (now husband) Jake had a rugby match one Saturday morning, he was so proud to come watch him play. Jake’s [Gustie rugby jersey] represents truly every sport, pro or college, and his love for cheering on his favorite team.
My little [Target dog] here represents two things – Grandpa’s love for dogs (every dog), and also for Target. Even before I worked there, he’d quote the “Expect More. Pay Less” brand promise. Not just Target either – sometimes he’d tell me he was “Eatin Good in the Neighborhood” which of course meant he had lunch at Applebee’s!
Next – a [Spanish dictionary]. Again – double meaning. It’s Spanish, because he loved learning Spanish words and phrases from his Spanish-speaking friends, and using them with me. His favorite word was “tragon”, which means glutton. At Thanksgiving, when he’d get his second plate of food, he’d point to himself and say “tragon” without fail. The dictionary part? Grandpa didn’t just like Spanish words, he liked all words. Especially the latest slang. I know many of you share this memory too. I think the first word Natalie and I taught him was “tight” which means cool, as in “that’s tight.” He got such a kick out of it and used it often!
These [marshmallows] represent all things sweet tooth related. Grandpa loved sweets, especially ice cream. And as a little girl, is there anything better than when your grandpa loves candy as much as you do? I vividly remember him getting up in the middle of the night, just to get a handful of marshmallows and go back to bed. My grandma would tease him about finding stray marshmallows in the sheets the next morning!
So I’m ending with what may seem random. It’s random because it’s just a [razor], but the meaning behind it is awesome. My good friend Tai lived with Grandpa while she was student teaching in the Cities. About a month into the living arrangement, Tai discovered that Grandpa was not getting ready in the bathroom each morning, in fact he was going into the hallway with his razor and using his reflection in the hallway glass window as his mirror. He didn’t want to wake Tai while she was sleeping! Of course we thought this was ridiculous, but it really demonstrates how Grandpa was always so giving and kind to those he loved.
When you think about Grandpa – he wouldn’t want you to be sad. In fact, he HATED causing any kind of disruption or upsetting the people around him. He would, however, want you to hold on to the memories and traditions you had together, recognize the importance of turning something as small as a Perkins outing into amazing memories with loved ones, AND he would want you to secretly smile – like it’s your inside joke – anytime you see something that reminds you of the great times you shared.
