It's the little things...

I've been on a glorious (almost) weeklong staycation, and tomorrow we start an actual weeklong vacation. These two + weeks at home with my family have been precious. And I've been able to slow down and spend the time focused on what matters, and I've been making a mental list of things I don't want to forget. Things like the way Kennedy waves at me right in my face, even if we've been hanging out for an hour already. Her sweet little voice reciting "dada dada, mama mama" nonstop sometimes. The huge bubbles she blows in the bathtub (teacher Kathy would be proud!) 

The way she rests her head on a pillow, or even tonight, curled up on her changing table to pretend to go "night night". The way she pops up when we go in to get her after nap, and she immediately goes to the corners of her crib to give her teddy bear and her bunny a kiss, and then love them up with a little squeeze. The way she hands me her taggie and wants me to cuddle with it. The way she communicates all of her wants and needs through a couple of signs (more, all done), yes/no nodding and shaking, and pointing. She looks at us so intently with her eyes when communicating, as if to make sure we're tracking her requests. 

Below are some candids from my phone - I downloaded them to my computer finally! I would hate to lose my phone and all the great pics with it, so I try to stay on top of transferring them via Dropbox. So easy. 

Learning a new hobby at Grandpa and Grandma's

1-day old cousin Noel! We can't wait for all the fun ahead of us.

Yesterday we went on a 7am walk. It was so gorgeously humidly hot already, and it's like she's saying, "Here we are!" as we looked over the pond at the nearby church. 

Pure joy on the swing

Learning how to ride the new playground equipment with Daddy

Our first little one, having Sushi with Your Poochie at the event in Uptown - she's got rice in her beard!

Hair blowing in the wind, going head first down the slide (fearless!)

Callie didn't want to walk anymore, so she rode with Kennedy in the stroller. This went on for about 10 minutes - the memory is priceless!

Can I just eat my Cinnamon Toast Crunch in peace? 

Watching the bigger cousins at the cabin (Memorial Day)

Her Daddy

Kennedy loves her daddy. I mean LOVES her daddy. They are like two peas in a pod, these two. They are silly and have a million jokes between each other, and he is also a fabulous caretaker. They take life in stride, while also respecting their weekday routines. He is so caring and sensitive to her needs, while also reinforcing boundaries, teaching, and saying "no" when necessary. And she just loves him.

I still don't totally know what roles Jake and I will play as she grows up, when we have to do more explaining, reasoning, and parenting becomes more of a mental than physical game. I'm not entirely sure if one of us will be the "tough" one while the other is the "softie", because I picture us taking turns and being great partners as we dance through this thing called parenting. But I am confident that no matter what, she will always feel loved.

One short story that I often play through my mind when I'm putting her to bed: One night, I was setting up the things in her crib, and he gently pointed out that I need to put the pink bunny silky on the right side by the crocheted blanket, because "then she can turn her head to the right and nuzzle into the silky while she plays with the blankie, because that's how she likes to lay." I was shocked (but not surprised) at how in tune and attentive he was to his daughter, as I hadn't even caught onto this habit. But he was right, and so that's how we do it. Every single night.

These are the things life is made of.

Updates from our fam

As you can probably tell from my lack of writing, we've been very busy! But I'm okay with that. I'm good with being disconnected and focused on what is happening around me instead of what is happening in the inter-webs. I haven't forgotten about you, readers! This spring has been just rough for us, because this little monkey doesn't like feeling cooped up one bit. She is on the GO - she is a mover and a shaker, which is hard to do in a 14x14' living room space (just a guess). 

So, one day we played dress up. We tried on the kimono from my friend Maya, who is basically from Japan at this point (she got married to a Japanese and had a cute little girl, Hannah, who we can't wait to meet this summer!)

We also had 1-year pictures taken by Crystal, and they turned out awesome. What I LOVE about this one is her uber-expression, which is not at all uncommon on a random Wednesday from this girl. She is one of the most expressive people I know. Not. even. kidding. 

We were silly during the photo shoot! She loves plugging her nose like something smells funny, and we say "P-U! Stinky!" and she gets the biggest kick out of the whole thing. This girl knows how to make me laugh (and she does it often!)

I spent a weekend away at a cabin in Cambridge, which was just awesome. I'm a bridesmaid in my dear friend Mary's wedding in a few weeks, and her wedding party threw her a bachelorette weekend away. Many of these people flew in from the East Coast, so it was a bummer when we had to bundle up and stay warm in mid-May in Minnesota. I wanted them to know that this is not normal! We'll be traveling out East for the wedding and visit some new states.

And... we've been peeking! Kennedy is a total ham, and loves engaging with everyone she encounters. Here she is peeking through the railing at Grandma and Grandpa's house a few weeks ago. Happy little girl makes for one very happy mama!

How to Live a Full Life

I'm so amazed by this 18-year old boy from my hometown who has gone viral - completely viral on Facebook, YouTube, and even iTunes. The heavy part is that he went viral the day he passed away from cancer, just on Monday.

I am amazed and confused, and joyful about his life, which really helps put mine in perspective. Confused in the sense that bad things can happen to such amazingly good people. Filled with love for the community I grew up in, and amazement as I watch this YouTube video that has gone viral - with 6.3 million views and counting! The video includes clips from my high school, my town, the streets I grew up on. And I can only imagine the outpouring of love and support for the Sobiech family within the community.

Outside of the community, the outpouring has been ridiculous. I just went on iTunes to see his song, "Clouds" by Zach Sobiech, as the #1 download, above artists like Pink, Macklemore, and Justin Timberlake. What?! Zach is sure smiling down at this feat. (His YouTube version also has over 5 million hits.)

All of the proceeds from the song are going to Children's cancer research, which I think is just awesome. The video about his life really shows him as a calm, connected human being, full of faith and love for the people around him. He doesn't seem to worry about a lot of things 18-year-olds are worried about - popularity, material items, being seen as cool. He's this down-to-earth, goofy guy who lived every minute of his short life. So how to live a full life? Here are some things for me to remember:

• Be present in the moment. Don't worry so much about the past, or the future - worry about the now.
• Focus on the people. I've always said since I was a teenager, "People make or break my day." Surround yourself with the people who are day makers most of the time.
• Quiet the voices in your head. I have them - I think we all do. The voices tell me, "I should be..." or "I want..." or "I need to achieve..." or "I'm not happy because _____ hasn't gone the way I planned." This world can eat you alive if you let it. Zach could have been down on himself near the end, but he found a way to let go of the noise to focus on what matters.
• Think of each day as a gift. Zach would have given anything to live to his 20s, 30s, 40s.... he talked about having kids one day. He would have loved a chance as a working adult. I'm lucky to have experienced these things.
• Be vulnerable. He said "I love you" to his brother on screen, and joked about how guys just don't say that very often. I'm reading Brene Brown's book, Daring Greatly, right now, which talks about the most important thing that humans want: to connect with others. Real connection happens through vulnerability. How can you connect before it's too late?

It's a beautiful story, really, and I thank Zach for reminding me of what's important and what I have in this life. <3>

Lean in, or out, or back or forth or not at all.

Sheryl Sandberg has been taking the discussion boards and book clubs by storm with her new book, Lean In. It's a feminist sort of book, and a business leadership sort of book, and it gets all sorts of rave reviews and criticism from a variety of audiences.  Here are a couple notables ones:

• Why Women Should Embrace a "Good Enough" Life
• A Stay at Home Dad's Thoughts on Lean In
• Why I'd Rather Stand Up Straight Than Lean In

Sheryl definitely makes some great points in her book. I am thoroughly glad I read it and I am fascinated by her success story. Some critics think she had it easier than most because of her upbringing and mentors early in her career - I give her the benefit of the doubt on this piece because she obviously did something right to gain their support. I also don't think anyone could deny she's hardworking. I think for me - the place the book falls short - is how she describes the opportunity/cost equation of a career vs. motherhood as a purely economic equation.

At one point in the book, she explains how even if all or most of the working mom's salary is going to childcare, it's still worth paying for childcare and staying in the workforce because essentially mom is staying relevant and climbing the 'jungle gym' to success. She said you can't compare the current salary to childcare costs; you must compare the future salary that is built over time from staying in the workforce.

I get her point, economically, but Sheryl spends very little (if any) time talking about the price of those moments. The moments when my little girl reaches for me and pulls me in with a big, sloppy kiss. When her eyes light up with a sparkle when I walk through the door. When she cries for me in the middle of the night, and I go in and rock her, and she dries her tears, shoves her hand in my mouth and pinches my nose, giggling. When she communicates with me wide-eyed, signing, nodding and shaking her head. The moments when we belly laugh and tickle tummies and throats, when she throws her head back, revealing her neck for just one more. The moments when nothing else will do but reading a book in my lap.

Call me an idealist, but I truly can't put a price on these moments. And while I care very much about my career, I also recognize the importance of pressing "pause" on a lifetime of work ahead of me. This Mother's Day was a great day for me to step back, take a look at the beauty around me, be thankful, and embrace how I choose to spend most of my days - leaning into the important things in life that I'll surely look back on someday with pure joy and a smile.

I hope you all enjoyed your Mother's Day, recognizing the precious caretakers in yourself and those around you.

Work AND Life (More appropriately titled: Life, which includes Work.)

I've always prioritized my desire to achieve work/life balance. In fact, I prefer the term work/life blending, because the two have never really been separate to me. Work is something you do. It's not just a place you go; it's a thing you do. I check emails at night or prep for a big presentation on the weekend. It's a big blob of something I am accountable for, and sometimes the blend is a little heavy on work, while other times it's a little lighter. My expert bartender husband makes me a cocktail - the vodka to lemonade ratio might be stronger one week, and might be lighter the next. Not all cocktails are the same. (So is work the vodka or the lemonade?)

I read this article and really enjoyed it. Is There Life After Work? I think there is so much talk about "Leaning In" since Sheryl Sandberg's new book, and a lot of the talk is geared towards leaning in to one's career, to the opportunities presented. While I do think there is a lot smart about jumping at opportunities, I am also focused on saying 'no' where it makes sense. Work will take as much time as I will give it. I can always do more. But in order to live a full life, I want to look at each week, month, year and feel that I have fully lived.

Here is an amazing video that depicts this notion as well: Video: 35 I don't know this guy, but I just love his outlook. While I don't have the financial ability to live frivolously in an idealistic work EVERY day (there are some boundaries, people!) I do think it's great perspective on staying grounded in what's important.

I also feel very lucky that my company allows me to work 4 days/week - that's 52 extra days a year to focus on my life outside of work!

Bottom line - my work is important to me, but it does not define me. It defines a part of me - I like accomplishing big things, stretching my brain, utilizing my strengths, and learning new things. But I am a whole person, and I am thankful for people like Erin from Lehman Brothers who share their stories so we can keep perspective and learn from them. 

March

March and April have turned into our busiest months of the year, and this year was no exception. It felt special (birthdays), spiritual (baptism, Easter), and celebratory (family and friend gatherings every weekend for 5 straight weekends. Below are a few of the highlights:

Grandpa Greg (formerly known as "Dad") had a birthday! We had a delicious brunch at Crave, where Jake and Kennedy are both super popular. Loved this time with family.

Natalie and Kennedy hanging together at Crave 

Grandma and Kennedy at brunch

Kennedy's first Easter egg hunt at Grandma/Grandpa's - she found 7 bright colorful eggs! (with coins in them)

Easter dinner w/ Jake's family, and a chance for a family picture

Kennedy and the real bunny on her first Easter

We started the month with Kennedy's baptism take 2 (she had a double ear infection on the originally scheduled date). I'll do a separate post on that day, but I am truly happy with the decision to baptize her now and the church we've chosen to start attending near our home. We followed baptism Sunday with 1st birthday Sunday, then Grandpa's birthday and then Easter. 

Easter felt special as well, as it always does. A beautiful day that really signifies spring and new beginnings (though we're still waiting to feel spring). And then my dear sister's birthday, which we celebrated at her apartment with lobster rolls from the Smack Shack. Yum!

We've got a bit of free time now until the weddings pick up in May and June, so we're enjoying laying low, taking naps, and spring cleaning. Exciting things ahead, I can tell!

And this is what 1 looks like...

We had the best 1st birthday. It was so fun to think about our year, her year, and now her life as a 1-year-old. It's a pretty special to be 1! 

I won't keep writing monthly updates, but maybe every 3-6 months I'll write about what she's doing. However, we'll close out the year with a 12-month, aka 1 year update. At 12 months, Kennedy:

• Weights 19 lb. 1 oz, and is 29 inches tall. This puts her around 30th percentile for weight and 40th for height. She's definitely petite but growing at a proportionate rate. 
• Wears mostly 12M clothes, 12M onesies, and some 9M pants. Her waist is small for some 12M pants!
• Eats mostly regular, prepared meals that we eat (or would eat). She loves pasta dishes, egg bake, cheese, ground beef or turkey, meatballs, deli meat, cooked apples, yogurt, bananas, lasagna, and rice. We're trying to expand but so far, we're pretty happy with her appetite. 
• Cruises around furniture very quickly, and can stand alone for 5 seconds. She is also very good at bending down to pick things up and easily transitions between standing, sitting, and crawling.
• Sleeps THROUGH the night! Haven't been able to say that until this month's update! She might wake up and make little noises, but can almost always get herself back to sleep. No more night feedings!
• Loves playing with magnets on the fridge, stacking her rings, putting things in and taking out of boxes, stacking books, knocking down block towers, her elephant ball toy, and her other musical toys. She likes to turn on all musical toys at the same time (for a very calm environment, indeed.)
• She also loves playing music. She'll turn on the CD player by herself, look at us, and do a little dance.
• Claps her hands when we ask her to! She loves clapping on command, and then immediately pulls out her entire bag of tricks: her responses to "So big!", "Peekaboo!" and "Hello?" (holding her hand to her ear like she's on the phone)
• Is turning more and more into a toddler every day. She likes testing us - looking at us before doing something she knows she shouldn't do, and waiting for our response. Then, after we set limits, she looks at us again before attempting to break those limits. I can tell this stage is going to be oh-so-fun.
• LOVES her puppy. Pets her more gently, shares her food, holds her hand out to her for kisses, and is generally interested in where she is and what she's doing.
• On that note, she also has started pretending to be like her puppy! She takes Callie's leash and drapes it around the back of her neck/shoulders and crawls around like a puppy! So fun to see this make-believe play.
• Nods her head yes in addition to shaking her head no! She seems to deliberately shake and nod depending on the situation.
• Uses one sign consistently, for "all done" at the high chair
• Still loves the bath and will crawl quickly to bath when she hears the water running
• Hates having her diaper changed and puts up a big fuss/fight often. Time at the diaper table is a constant battle!
• Is still on the army crawl. At this point, I think that'll never change. I forget how unique her crawl is until someone new sees it, and they crack up immediately when she crawls. Someone recently said it's a "slither", which I think is super accurate.
• Is starting to show interest in playing with other kids. The bottom picture shows her playing with her cousin Liam, which is super cute to see how engaged they are in play together.
• Is of course, the little light of our lives. We can't wait to see what the second year brings! (of course, we are proceeding with caution, considering the stories I've heard about the toddler years)

Happy Birthday to Kennedy- we love you so much!

My Dear Girl...

My Dear, Sweet, Kennedy,

Tomorrow you turn 1. You have now been in the world for an entire year. A year ago, I was laying in bed after a long walk with Grandma Gail, trying to make you move! A year ago was my due date, and it was summery, hot and humid outside. (Today it was about 20 degrees and we are still snow-covered.) A year ago, I had spaghetti dinner with girlfriends, and it was hard to believe I was still pregnant.

It's so surreal to think about, because a year ago you couldn't even pick your head up and now you're cruising around furniture, clapping your baby doll's hands, brushing Grandma's hair, my hair, your hair, putting Callie's leash around your neck like she does, and making your wants and needs known.

I know you.

Really, I have known you since before the first day, when you were often very active in my tummy. And I knew you the day you were born, when you came out screaming for a good 20 minutes before you calmed down. I remember the first time you curled your lip to pout (you were probably 2 weeks old) and I said to your Daddy, "I can already picture her tantrums."

You see, I know you.

I know how excited you are about entertaining guests, welcoming people into our home, and interacting with our sweet puppy. I know how generous you are with sharing your things, bringing people into your world by handing them toys, holding out your food and water for them. I know how important it is for you to explore with your hands, understand the world around you. You want to work all of the small parts, twisting and turning and cranking and screwing them in. You want to understand how the world fits together.

I am that way, too. I still get excited about having guests over, and not wanting to miss a thing. I want people to experience what I am experiencing, so I bring them into my world, too. I want to understand the world, and while I often think it should fit like a puzzle, I'm learning to accept that some pieces will be torn and others will be missing.

I will always teach you to trust people, even when it's hard or even after that trust is broken. I believe in living with your whole heart, and I'll teach you about that. (I'll even teach you about Brené Brown one day.)

And sometimes your feelings get hurt.

You feel sad when something doesn't go your way, and you feel emotions intensely, but you also get over it pretty quickly because you are in tune to everything going on around you. You will get hurt sometimes, but that's okay. It will make you stronger, and you will learn from it. You will gain perspective from every experience, and learn how to be the best you possible. I will not always be able to protect you from frustration and pain, but I will always be there to work through it together.

You see, my little girl, I really believe that throughout your life, as you grow into this amazing person you were destined to be, I will look back and be able to say, "Yes, she's always been that way."

Love, Mommy

Technologically Speaking

I work as a Consultant in Organizational Effectiveness, a team focused on training and development of our various client groups. My client group is our technology department - what many traditionally know as Information Technology, or IT. I was recently talking with my boss about how the idea and reputation of IT is shifting so dramatically. I never found myself as interested in it as I do now.

People used to think of IT as payroll systems, code writers, green screens, cursors, blue screens, boxy fonts. But now - think of the biggest IT giants - they are the true innovators! Facebook. Google. Digital. Mobile. Things that are true drivers in our world today.

There is a generation being born today who will not think of IT in a traditional sense - because to them, technology will always be part of their DNA. It will support them in play, in learning and connecting. Here's a funny clip about Gen Z - which I'm not sure is definitively named that yet, but the newest generation born in 2000 or later. A Magazine is an iPad that Doesn't Work

Think about it. Our kids will naturally go to their devices, apps, web browsers, and sites to get the latest info and interact with the world. I've also joked with Jake that my first news source is Facebook. I'm not sure the old mantra "A place for friends" that Mark Zuckerberg created showed any intention for Facebook as a news source. But, nowadays, word travels fast and people post which leads me to find news stories.

It also reminds me of one of my first posts, when I talked about words that used to have narrow usage that are now in the forefront of our vocabularies. Things like "tweet" and "text" and "status" and even "like" are given new meaning, and are also suddenly very popular.

So, IT isn't really in the background. It's driving what we do, both in business and in life. It's not like "organizing the world's information" sounds like an extremely sexy task, but somehow the Google guys have made it that way.