What a day. Yesterday we buried Grandma and Grandpa's ashes at a cemetery near my parents' house. 20 of us gathered for a short ceremony by Pastor Dan, and then Natalie and I placed roses in their grave and the family surrounded them at their final resting place. Grandma passed on March 12, 2002 (Grandpa kept her ashes in his apartment for the last 9 years). Grandpa passed on December 29, 2010. It made sense to wait for the ground to melt before burying them together. Here are a couple pics from the burial (yes that's my dad in the hat):
After the rainy, cold, dreary burial on a Minnesota May day, we returned to my parents' for a celebration of their lives. It was actually REALLY cool. I didn't know what to expect, but the day made me feel awesome. See, my sister and I don't consider ourselves to come from a big family, as over the last few years it has been just a few of us. We only have two first cousins, and we've now lost three grandparents. BUT, when we consider my dad and his cousins' families, we actually grew up with quite a large group. I think about being a kid, playing with all of these other kids, who are technically my third cousins - an awesome childhood filled with memories with cool people. We're scattered around the country now. My grandma's maiden name was Adams. And it all started with the woman holding me here, Grandma's mother, my Great Grandma Dot.
At night we watched actual filmstrip reels of silent video, taken in the 1950s and 60s of my dad, his two brothers, and their eight cousins. They were a HUGE family growing up, and really focused on the meaning of family! The parties they had for each grandchild's birthday, the huge Christmas feast, and the silly games they played (apparently crazy amounts of "Button Button, Who's Got the Button?) all showed me how close they really were. They sat around a kids' table in fancy collared shirts and ties, and girlie, ruffled dresses. They were a distinguished family, and very well-behaved children. They paid close attention to celebrations, tradition, respect for family and bringing people together.
Grandma had three brothers, and the two still living were there for the burial. Each of her three brothers were also represented with a daughter present - each daughter being one of my dad's cousins.
We grew up spending entire summers in the 80s at Aldo, a lakehome affectionately named by blending my great grandpa and great grandma's first names together. Here is Great Grandma Dot, Uncle Tom, my mom and me on the patio at Aldo.
Grandpa, Natalie and I were seriously best of friends. He always loved kids, but especially his only two granddaughters. Here you can see a classic of the three of us causing some sort of mischief or scheming a plan while sitting on his lap.
After the rainy, cold, dreary burial on a Minnesota May day, we returned to my parents' for a celebration of their lives. It was actually REALLY cool. I didn't know what to expect, but the day made me feel awesome. See, my sister and I don't consider ourselves to come from a big family, as over the last few years it has been just a few of us. We only have two first cousins, and we've now lost three grandparents. BUT, when we consider my dad and his cousins' families, we actually grew up with quite a large group. I think about being a kid, playing with all of these other kids, who are technically my third cousins - an awesome childhood filled with memories with cool people. We're scattered around the country now. My grandma's maiden name was Adams. And it all started with the woman holding me here, Grandma's mother, my Great Grandma Dot.
At night we watched actual filmstrip reels of silent video, taken in the 1950s and 60s of my dad, his two brothers, and their eight cousins. They were a HUGE family growing up, and really focused on the meaning of family! The parties they had for each grandchild's birthday, the huge Christmas feast, and the silly games they played (apparently crazy amounts of "Button Button, Who's Got the Button?) all showed me how close they really were. They sat around a kids' table in fancy collared shirts and ties, and girlie, ruffled dresses. They were a distinguished family, and very well-behaved children. They paid close attention to celebrations, tradition, respect for family and bringing people together.
Grandma had three brothers, and the two still living were there for the burial. Each of her three brothers were also represented with a daughter present - each daughter being one of my dad's cousins.
We grew up spending entire summers in the 80s at Aldo, a lakehome affectionately named by blending my great grandpa and great grandma's first names together. Here is Great Grandma Dot, Uncle Tom, my mom and me on the patio at Aldo.
This family, of course, was not just the Adams. We also pull in my Grandpa, the Wires side. Here he is with my family of four.
Grandpa, Natalie and I were seriously best of friends. He always loved kids, but especially his only two granddaughters. Here you can see a classic of the three of us causing some sort of mischief or scheming a plan while sitting on his lap.
The most amazing part for me yesterday was to realize that this is where I come from. These people - relatives who gathered from around the country presented mannerisms, made statements, and had habits that reminded me of why I am the way I am. Both good and bad. The filmstrip reels showed me things that have been passed down across generations. The kids had assigned seats at birthday parties, and only put their party hats on when they were told to do so. The cousins threw darts at a dart board, and focused SO INTENTLY on getting the bullseye. They played games, had order and structure to the gathering. They took turns. They valued camaraderie. They took things seriously. They had fun, but in an orderly kind of way. They taped the whole thing to preserve the memories for someone to enjoy 50 years later! And they laughed, a lot.
Not having Grandma or Grandpa there yesterday was sad. I miss them more than I can explain. But I take comfort in the fact that yesterday made me feel like I was part of this bigger, greater family again. The Adams side of the family in particular was a solid part of my upbringing, and when Grandma died almost 10 years ago, some of that seemed to fizzle. I dearly miss her, but I know she would have been so proud yesterday and she would have been just tickled that we were all getting together to celebrate her. And seeing my grandma so happy would have been all my grandpa needed to think that yesterday was just perfect.
This is lovely, Al. To recognize, suddenly, ourselves in our family members is a startling and (I find) comforting thing. Thanks for sharing. :)
ReplyDeleteAllison, I am very happy that your family got to celebrate their lives. I know that Bubbs would have enjoyed the celebration. I still think of him often and wish that Sydney would have had a chance to meet him. When Sydney and I make it to the cities can we please go visit them? We need to talk soon and catch up. Miss you!
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