The Noise. -OR- Intro/Extro/Ambiverts.

Last week I had one of those moments at work that reminded me what I love about my job. I love every chance I get to think deeply about things, gain perspective, and use my head to learn about people and grow. Specifically, by reflecting about myself and others. This chance  last week came in the form of an event called “Diversity of Thought: Introverts and Extroverts.” The session started with a video by the author of the book “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking.” Here is a link to the video: (I highly recommend carving out 20 minutes to watch it.) Susan Cain - TED video

I love being reminded of the definition of extrovert vs. introvert. It's not about being shy or outgoing; it's about where we recharge and get our energy. Think about it. Do you get energized or overwhelmed in a crowded bar; are you energized or bored while at home reading, writing, or gardening by yourself? The more I think about it, I realize that while I have qualities of both (called ambivert), my tendencies have shifted over time. My cure for being sleepy used to be calling my friends to head out on the town, shopping or to grab a drink. Now, I find it easy and refreshing to get immersed in doing things by myself or with just a few friends or family. 

Maybe part of it is also an age thing and our capacity to fill our lives with THE NOISE after we complete our required tasks and obligations for the day. THE NOISE. Our lives are full of it. Cell phones. Words With Friends. Facebook. iPods. Radio morning shows (and afternoon shows). Reality TV. Gossip magazines. Gossip. Twitter. Email. Hallway conversations. Cubicles. Office pranks. Fantasy football. E! News. Facebook. Email.

It seriously never shuts off!

The session following the video was kicked off by a senior leader, who talked about how early on in his career he would go home from work exhausted every day. He began to recognize the style of our workplace and how it lends towards being an extrovert. He talked about fitting his style at work vs. being who he is. A few points that really resonated with me:  

• Don’t try and go against the grain of who you are- you won’t be as productive or your complete “effective self” if you try to operate as an extrovert but you’re really an introvert.
• If someone in the room sits and thinks quietly more than speaks up quickly, it doesn’t mean they're not engaged. Maybe they're processing information. Maybe they will have the best solution of everyone, better than all of the people who get their words out quickly.
• Extroverts might think that introverts seem like a 'fly on the wall.' Instead, they might just be trying to take information and make something of it quietly to themselves. 
• There is a place for both styles in this world. The world needs introverts and extroverts. Both can be successful - the key is being comfortable and confident in what we each bring to the table.

I remember when Jake and I attended our pre-marital counseling and learned that extroverts like to work through problems out loud, while introverts like to work through them in their head and then share. Jake and I definitely handle things differently, and it makes us a better team because of it. 

I think I'm learning more and more how important it is to stay true to myself. And to shut out the noise when possible, so that the things I take in are better received by my brain. And that there really is not one right answer.