Kennedy at 18 Months! (couple weeks late)

18 whole months with this little lady?! Can you believe it??! In some ways it feels like life before Kennedy was an entire decade ago. In other ways, it feels like we are still getting used to this life, this beautiful life as mama and dada. And Lala (as she calls our sweet puppy, Callie).

Life at 18 months is pretty swell. Lots of smiles, lots of curls, more words every week. Personality extreme.

We're still finding our happy balance in this dance of life, but more on that later. For now, here is what she's doing, saying, and working on. I realize this is a long list, but I had to keep a mental note since so much has happened in the last 6 months, and this is really more for me to keep track of the little things. It's the little things, people.

• She signs "more" and "all done" regularly, and nods and shakes her head to communicate. She also made up this finger pointing sign and I swear she's communicating something to me, but I don't know what it is! She points repeatedly straight up in the air, then looks at me like I'm supposed to get it. It's funny. And we both laugh.
• She clears her throat back and forth with us and thinks it's hilarious! 
• She takes her taggie (blankie) and rests it on my shoulders to soothe me. She does the same with her stuffed giraffe and sometimes her teddy bear.
• She likes poking our eyes, nose, ears, and sometimes will plug both her ears and puff her cheeks out like a monkey! Again, a total ham. 
• One of our favorite games is "Eyes, Nose, Mouth, Kiss!" It's quite simple. I point to her eyes, nose, mouth, and then give her a big kiss on her face. And she just loves it! She blinks in anticipation. And she'll do it back to me (but still waits for me to kiss her after pointing to my mouth).
• She shrugs her shoulders and holds her palms up asking, "Where is it?" or to signal, "I don't know!"
• She loves running in place, on the steps, at the playground, at the top of her slide.
• She loves to dance to Raffi. Wiggling her body or if it's a slow song, twirling in a circle.
• She loves to be tickled. This is something I can't get over - I HATED being tickled growing up! I'm still scarred from all the tickle tortures! She loves especially when we tickle her on the back side of her calves. She'll try to do it to herself after we change her diaper, which is hilarious. "Tickle Time" by Sandra Boynton is a favorite.
• When I leave for work, she goes to the window on the couch and waves bye-bye. Almost every day, which makes going to work soooo much easier (and hard at the same time).
• Up was one of her first words, extending her arms for us to hold her. She used to whisper it repeatedly: "up up up up..." now it's more commanding, and sounds more like "Op! Op! Op!" Everything is more commanding with a toddler.
• She rests in a ball on the changing table, like in child's pose in yoga. No wonder they call it child's pose!
• Speaking of yoga, this girl is a seasoned pro! If we ask her to do yoga, she'll get into downward dog almost on command. Then she'll do a couple other random moves, sometimes child's pose or happy baby.
• She loves to go to the fridge and look for her own food. Her favorite requests are cheese "eeze", apples, "app", or bread "b b b".
• She also asks for water on the outside of the fridge (the dispenser). And every time she needs water, she asks for ICE. Ice was one of her first really clear, random words. Every time we have water, we need ice!
• She's great at knowing things are hot. She points at the oven, candles, the hot tub, fire, and says "hothothot"
• She's finnicky about what she wears. Not because of what it looks like, because it has to be comfy. Any sort of frilly dress or lacy top lasts about 2 seconds - and she throws a fit. T-shirt and leggings? Absolutely.
• She likes to pretend to sleep in her crib, and she asks for me to join her. So yes - we lay and play in the crib together. She points next to her and says "mama mama" so of course I get in!
• When we're going down the stairs, she instructs me to hold her hand and also to hold the railing. I can't just hold her hand, she stops and points at the railing, waiting for me to hold it.
• She's so careful with her baby, loving on her, cradling her, rocking her, kissing her, and patting her back.
• One of her favorite things to do with her daddy is play the chase game around the house. Whenever he makes a sudden movement she runs the other way and squeals with delight! So much fun being chased, and a big belly laugh being caught!
• She likes to take small objects (a crayon, a grape) and test us by putting it in her eye, her ear, her other ear, her nose - just looking at us and waiting for our reaction. Such a ham.
• This might be my favorite. She asks for water by making a water gulping sound. Almost every time! It's this deep sound of gulping water. I can't even replicate it. And we ask, "Would you like water?" Every time - yes.

This is truly a special age and I know those were a lot of little memories, but these are the things I'll want to look back on and tell her about, to close my eyes and remember when she's zipping around town as a teenager and I just hope for a few minutes a day. For now, we'll hold on to every moment. <3 div="">

What Would You Do If You Weren't Afraid? (aka my new business adventure)

Questions have been swirling in my head lately. Questions, quotes, ideas, this fire and passion that I NEED to do something. For me, for my family. And maybe, for you. I've come across that answer, the thing I want to take on. 

• WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WEREN'T AFRAID? - a nod to Sheryl Sandberg's Lean In
• The trending term, YOLO (you only live once)
• The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying: How do I make sure I look back on my life with no regrets?
• "We can do hard things + Love wins + We belong to each other" - Glennon Doyle Melton of Momastery

The list goes on and on. I am watching these people in the arena, and I'm thrilled to want to be there, too. I will be there.

My venture is all about promoting health + wellness, balanced nutrition, energy + performance, and giving our bodies what they need. Common side effects include weight loss, increased sleep quality, mental clarity. These things, in my book, help us focus on living a full life. 

More to come with details, but I want to share this journey with you because you may be interested! The products and company are awesome. Let me know if you want to hear more. I'd love to discuss and share this information with each and every one of you.

When I read Brene Brown's Daring Greatly, I made a promise to myself to "live and love with my whole heart." I wrote it down, and I'm going to live it. It's scary to take on a new challenge, to be vulnerable. At the beginning of her book, she quotes Theodore Roosevelt, and I think this really hits home: 

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly.” -Theodore Roosevelt

It's Innate

Tonight, my daughter was drinking water from her water table. She does this often - I realize that most kids probably splash and play in the water, but she prefers to find a cup or container and literally fill it with water, pouring it into her mouth repeatedly. I think it's pretty cute. Then, after about two containers for herself, she filled the container and put it on the ground, and looked around and pointed at the water and called, "Lala. Lala."

This is what she calls our dog, Callie. And it's a great example of something that she does frequently. She wants to make sure that others are getting the same enjoyment out of the activity that she is doing. She wanted Callie to share the water, and she was SO CONCERNED that Callie was participating in her fun activity. (In the end, Callie came over and lapped up the water, which Kennedy thought was hilarious.)

Kennedy often does this, making sure that those around her are also enjoying her food, playing with her toy, and taking a turn on the slide. "Mama, mama," she says as she points down the slide because it's my turn. Or let's just sit on the step together, because that's fun.

It makes me (of course) proud to see her selflessness in action, especially in an (almost) 18-month old human who is the center of her own universe. And it makes me realize that our desire to share enjoyment with those around us is very much innate, within us from birth. We want others to feel happy when we are happy, and we want others to share in our excitement and joy. When we model selflessness for our kids, I think they just pick up on the behavior we are modeling. When they practice selflessness, they learn that it's fun.

So much of what we want - what we think we need - comes from what society tells us we need. Right now, Kennedy doesn't care if her room is sort of small, if our living room is also her playroom and also our office. She doesn't care about designer clothes or labels or fancy new things. She's got her priorities straight. She needs the basics - sleep, food, shelter - and love from the people who matter most. This world will show her what she will think she needs in so many ways, and it'll be our job to help create a balance between having some special things and having it all. Advertising and celebrities will do that to us. (As a side note, Simplicity Parenting is a GREAT book.) But, it's a great reminder for me as well to realize the happiest moments in my life are typically free, and typically meeting those basic needs: feeling rested, playing, eating good food, and spending time with the ones I love.

Mommy Blogs / Hands Free

So I have found a couple of 'mommy blogs' that I am really into lately. Two in particular - Momastery, which is witty, sassy, and a free, safe place to share ideas and remember that love always wins; and Hands Free Mama, which is this amazingly perfect place to ground and reground myself in what's important. It is very idealistic, but also very genuine and real. It is about the quest to have a Hands Free journey, which is a very enlightening, inspiring, and beautiful thing. I am like obsessed with these two blogs. Oh, how cool it would be to write a blog like these. Anyways, until my blogging gets that big, (ha!) I'll just have to reference some of their great ideas and keep them top of mind as I make promises to myself in a similar fashion.

The other day I was walking between buildings at work, which can take 10-15 minutes, so I often pull up Facebook and do a quick scroll. One friend had posted this article, and as I glanced at it, I found that I was being moved to tears. I got teary! So I closed it, and revisited it later, eating up every word:

The Day I Stopped Saying Hurry Up

I truly believe that parents learn as much or more from their kids, especially as they start to develop their little personalities and say things that make you think. This little girl has taught her mama (and now, all of her mama's readers) a very important thing: the beauty of the journey. I say it all the time, but it's so hard to live it. Especially when I am spending so much of my days looking forward to the evening, or my weeks looking forward to Friday, it's hard to get lost in the moment. I also remember when I was on maternity leave, I told a friend that I anticipated going back to work would be tough because I would be transitioning between two VASTLY DIFFERENT speeds every single day. At work we move at mach speed; at 17 months, things just go a lot slower. We stop to smell every rose. We read every book. Twice. We point to every face on the fridge, and then we do it again. We go down the toddler slide 50 times, and then 50 more times after lunch. We poke at our food. We pour tea into cups, we pop up the jack-in-the-box again and again. We change a diaper, and then learn it needs changing just 10 minutes later.

I also find myself so excited for the stages when Kennedy talks and shares her thoughts with me, but I also have to be mindful to not wish away this early, sweet age as well. I will never get it back. When I get into it, I think I do pretty well, even though the transition is exhausting. I'm just thankful I have people out there writing such insightful messages every so often to bring me back to where I need to be.

New England in Words and Pictures

So- our trip was amazing. Exhausting with a 1-year-old, but simply amazing. It was so great to have some days at home before the trip, to really recharge. And then, when we were on the trip I was between roles at work, so I had nothing to check in on during my vacation. I was able to simply unplug and enjoy time with our great friends and as a family.

The trip started with a flight into Boston, a night in Providence, but it was so rainy and dreary that we really just spent the night out to dinner (a small burger joint for sliders), driving by the Brown campus, and playing cards in our hotel room.

The next day we drove to Waterville Valley, NH, where the wedding would take place. The rehearsal dinner was a lobster boil right at Squam Lake, where the father of the groom boiled 50 whole lobsters. Amazing!!

The wedding was the next day, near the resort where we stayed. The bride, Mary, is a good friend and I was honored to be in her wedding. Here she's getting the finishing touches to her makeup.

The decor was very classy and well done. It all felt very New England.

This little chica had a lot of fun! She spent a lot of the evening walking on the dance floor, and it was funny watching her carry this pint glass around with all of her might. It poured (and hailed!) right before 

We stayed at this gorgeous quaint resort overlooking the water in our own condo. It was so picturesque! 

Mary and her dad dancing - absolutely beautiful.

I really enjoyed all the personal touches they put on the wedding day. It reminded me of our own wedding in that sense - which I can't believe was almost 4 years ago! Below, you can see Mary and Chris saying their "thank-yous" as well as getting ready to serve us some homemade ice cream they made, for dessert.

After the wedding was over, we still had almost an entire week in New England. We were going to head to Vermont, but first took a ride up the chair lift at the side of the mountain near the resort where we stayed for the wedding. This was still in Waterville Valley.

One of our first stops in Vermont was the Ben and Jerry's ice cream HQ and factory, where they gave us a tour. Miss K cared a LOT more about the bridge at the playground than the ice cream! Not so typical for a kid, but for her, the playground was delicious.

I just love her little ringlets and am so glad I captured this one. Just precious.

Another stop in Vermont was at Sugarbush Farms, where we pet and fed the animals, then went inside for a cheese making tour (and tasting for everyone but me!) and a maple syrup sampling. It was so low key and relaxed in the buildings where everyone was working hard to make cheese and syrup. I couldn't imagine this lifestyle of going to work at this quiet little farm every day. 

Kennedy had a few funny moments: here, she was shoving spaghetti in her mouth (she's been resisting bibs lately so we just go topless when we don't want to fight it). She enjoyed sitting on Crystal's lap during many meals, which turned into her associating Crystal with food. The entire trip, she would walk up to Crystal and sign "eat" to her, and continues to do it at home. Crystal's not so sure about this!

This moment below was one of my favorites. Kennedy is social. And when I say social, I mean VERY SOCIAL. Everywhere we go, she's turning around, waving to everyone, making sure every individual in the room gets their own individual wave from her. She's locking eyes and looking for expressions, hoping for a wave back. Below, there was a huge rock with soldier statues scattered about. We set her on the rock, and she went around to each statue and literally waved and kissed each statue on the rock. It was so comical! She didn't leave a single one out, and she gave them each equal attention. This trait will serve her so well in the years to come.

These pictures were taken in York, Maine - my favorite place on our trip (and Kennedy's first ocean visit).

Of course I needed to have an entire lobster. When in Maine...

The place we stayed in Kittery, Maine, was very nice. The owners lived upstairs from our floor of the house, which was perfectly homey. They also invited us out for a 4th of July boat ride to show us the river and ocean! It was a really fun time - and they have a little boy as well, named Beckett. They refer to his life jacket as a "boat coat" which I thought was a nice name for it. Below, Kennedy is wearing her boat coat!

The view of the house from the water - were were on the ground floor and the owners live in the 2nd and 3rd floors.

Our last night we went to Rye, New Hampshire for a second ocean visit. It was another beautiful beach, and Kennedy had just as much fun. This time we were prepared for her zeal with a full-blown swimsuit! She was not scared of the waves or the cold water. Meant for the ocean!

So... I'm down to 14 states left. It was such a wonderful trip with Kennedy, and with Crystal and Matt. They did so well traveling with a 1-year-old, and we had all of the wonderful inside jokes and themes during the trip that always seem to happen when traveling with good friends. I hope we travel with them again sometime soon! If you haven't been to these states, I'd highly recommend it.

The Little Lady and the Sea

Lots to update on from the past 2 weeks of staycation/vacation bliss! It's been the most glorious time, and reminds me how important it is to take these large chunks of time off (instead of just a day here or there, which is what I usually end up doing). It has felt like a summer break from reality! One more day off tomorrow, then I begin my new role at Target, which I am excited for as well. Change is good; I keep telling myself that.

First things first, my girl loves the ocean. THIS is an important fact, because it is yet another way she is just like her mommy. I have forever been taken aback by the wonder and amazement - the deeply nostalgic and sentimental feeling I have every time I am by the ocean. I love the lakes at home, but not in the same way I love the ocean.

So we went for her first trip to the ocean, and she danced with glee. 

I didn't even put a bathing suit on her because she's had a tactile issue with grass, and I figured the sand and cold water would keep her at bay. But she went bounding into the waves! She made her soexcited face, laughed, smiled, pointed, and we hobbled into the icy water hand in hand. It was a beautiful thing.

She got her clothes so wet that we ended in just the diaper, and she proceeded to run freely across the beach. With pure glee.

This all happened in York, Maine. The following day we did the same thing in Rye, New Hampshire and had an equal amount of excitement and participation, which makes me happy for our many ocean visits in the years to come. **More to come on the details of our New England adventure!

It's the little things...

I've been on a glorious (almost) weeklong staycation, and tomorrow we start an actual weeklong vacation. These two + weeks at home with my family have been precious. And I've been able to slow down and spend the time focused on what matters, and I've been making a mental list of things I don't want to forget. Things like the way Kennedy waves at me right in my face, even if we've been hanging out for an hour already. Her sweet little voice reciting "dada dada, mama mama" nonstop sometimes. The huge bubbles she blows in the bathtub (teacher Kathy would be proud!) 

The way she rests her head on a pillow, or even tonight, curled up on her changing table to pretend to go "night night". The way she pops up when we go in to get her after nap, and she immediately goes to the corners of her crib to give her teddy bear and her bunny a kiss, and then love them up with a little squeeze. The way she hands me her taggie and wants me to cuddle with it. The way she communicates all of her wants and needs through a couple of signs (more, all done), yes/no nodding and shaking, and pointing. She looks at us so intently with her eyes when communicating, as if to make sure we're tracking her requests. 

Below are some candids from my phone - I downloaded them to my computer finally! I would hate to lose my phone and all the great pics with it, so I try to stay on top of transferring them via Dropbox. So easy. 

Learning a new hobby at Grandpa and Grandma's

1-day old cousin Noel! We can't wait for all the fun ahead of us.

Yesterday we went on a 7am walk. It was so gorgeously humidly hot already, and it's like she's saying, "Here we are!" as we looked over the pond at the nearby church. 

Pure joy on the swing

Learning how to ride the new playground equipment with Daddy

Our first little one, having Sushi with Your Poochie at the event in Uptown - she's got rice in her beard!

Hair blowing in the wind, going head first down the slide (fearless!)

Callie didn't want to walk anymore, so she rode with Kennedy in the stroller. This went on for about 10 minutes - the memory is priceless!

Can I just eat my Cinnamon Toast Crunch in peace? 

Watching the bigger cousins at the cabin (Memorial Day)

Her Daddy

Kennedy loves her daddy. I mean LOVES her daddy. They are like two peas in a pod, these two. They are silly and have a million jokes between each other, and he is also a fabulous caretaker. They take life in stride, while also respecting their weekday routines. He is so caring and sensitive to her needs, while also reinforcing boundaries, teaching, and saying "no" when necessary. And she just loves him.

I still don't totally know what roles Jake and I will play as she grows up, when we have to do more explaining, reasoning, and parenting becomes more of a mental than physical game. I'm not entirely sure if one of us will be the "tough" one while the other is the "softie", because I picture us taking turns and being great partners as we dance through this thing called parenting. But I am confident that no matter what, she will always feel loved.

One short story that I often play through my mind when I'm putting her to bed: One night, I was setting up the things in her crib, and he gently pointed out that I need to put the pink bunny silky on the right side by the crocheted blanket, because "then she can turn her head to the right and nuzzle into the silky while she plays with the blankie, because that's how she likes to lay." I was shocked (but not surprised) at how in tune and attentive he was to his daughter, as I hadn't even caught onto this habit. But he was right, and so that's how we do it. Every single night.

These are the things life is made of.

Updates from our fam

As you can probably tell from my lack of writing, we've been very busy! But I'm okay with that. I'm good with being disconnected and focused on what is happening around me instead of what is happening in the inter-webs. I haven't forgotten about you, readers! This spring has been just rough for us, because this little monkey doesn't like feeling cooped up one bit. She is on the GO - she is a mover and a shaker, which is hard to do in a 14x14' living room space (just a guess). 

So, one day we played dress up. We tried on the kimono from my friend Maya, who is basically from Japan at this point (she got married to a Japanese and had a cute little girl, Hannah, who we can't wait to meet this summer!)

We also had 1-year pictures taken by Crystal, and they turned out awesome. What I LOVE about this one is her uber-expression, which is not at all uncommon on a random Wednesday from this girl. She is one of the most expressive people I know. Not. even. kidding. 

We were silly during the photo shoot! She loves plugging her nose like something smells funny, and we say "P-U! Stinky!" and she gets the biggest kick out of the whole thing. This girl knows how to make me laugh (and she does it often!)

I spent a weekend away at a cabin in Cambridge, which was just awesome. I'm a bridesmaid in my dear friend Mary's wedding in a few weeks, and her wedding party threw her a bachelorette weekend away. Many of these people flew in from the East Coast, so it was a bummer when we had to bundle up and stay warm in mid-May in Minnesota. I wanted them to know that this is not normal! We'll be traveling out East for the wedding and visit some new states.

And... we've been peeking! Kennedy is a total ham, and loves engaging with everyone she encounters. Here she is peeking through the railing at Grandma and Grandpa's house a few weeks ago. Happy little girl makes for one very happy mama!

How to Live a Full Life

I'm so amazed by this 18-year old boy from my hometown who has gone viral - completely viral on Facebook, YouTube, and even iTunes. The heavy part is that he went viral the day he passed away from cancer, just on Monday.

I am amazed and confused, and joyful about his life, which really helps put mine in perspective. Confused in the sense that bad things can happen to such amazingly good people. Filled with love for the community I grew up in, and amazement as I watch this YouTube video that has gone viral - with 6.3 million views and counting! The video includes clips from my high school, my town, the streets I grew up on. And I can only imagine the outpouring of love and support for the Sobiech family within the community.

Outside of the community, the outpouring has been ridiculous. I just went on iTunes to see his song, "Clouds" by Zach Sobiech, as the #1 download, above artists like Pink, Macklemore, and Justin Timberlake. What?! Zach is sure smiling down at this feat. (His YouTube version also has over 5 million hits.)

All of the proceeds from the song are going to Children's cancer research, which I think is just awesome. The video about his life really shows him as a calm, connected human being, full of faith and love for the people around him. He doesn't seem to worry about a lot of things 18-year-olds are worried about - popularity, material items, being seen as cool. He's this down-to-earth, goofy guy who lived every minute of his short life. So how to live a full life? Here are some things for me to remember:

• Be present in the moment. Don't worry so much about the past, or the future - worry about the now.
• Focus on the people. I've always said since I was a teenager, "People make or break my day." Surround yourself with the people who are day makers most of the time.
• Quiet the voices in your head. I have them - I think we all do. The voices tell me, "I should be..." or "I want..." or "I need to achieve..." or "I'm not happy because _____ hasn't gone the way I planned." This world can eat you alive if you let it. Zach could have been down on himself near the end, but he found a way to let go of the noise to focus on what matters.
• Think of each day as a gift. Zach would have given anything to live to his 20s, 30s, 40s.... he talked about having kids one day. He would have loved a chance as a working adult. I'm lucky to have experienced these things.
• Be vulnerable. He said "I love you" to his brother on screen, and joked about how guys just don't say that very often. I'm reading Brene Brown's book, Daring Greatly, right now, which talks about the most important thing that humans want: to connect with others. Real connection happens through vulnerability. How can you connect before it's too late?

It's a beautiful story, really, and I thank Zach for reminding me of what's important and what I have in this life. <3>